swimming blows

oh, i got myself into such a swimming pity party this morning that i almost started to cry. not while swimming, but after, while sitting at my desk at work. woe is me and how sucky of a swimmer i am. as for the aqua jogger - she wasn't using a floating device, the pool is shallow so she was moving along touching the bottom.
today i thought was going well, i was kicking and keeping up with the old lady doing butterfly in the lane next to me. maybe i was even gaining on her occasionally.
but then everything fell apart after that. lots of drills, but its not helping, hence the almost cry and the pity party. maybe i need a new swim suit.
i did wear my new top to the gym last night while i ran. i was looking good in it, too. i left work at 5 and didn't get home until 7:50, but only ran for 1:10. how is that possible? what was i doing that other hour and 50 minutes?
lets break it down:
5pm - leave work
5:04 - arrive at the gym and get a quick parking spot which is pretty impressive!
5:06 - waiting in line for them to check me in.
5:07 - duck into the pool area to avoid being blocked behind the slow walkers on the way to the locker room.
5:08 - arrive in the locker room before the slow walkers, yay!! hit the jon and change my clothes.
5:24 - check the cinema room for open treadmill, none available, but hang out long enough to see that Hanna is playing.
5:27 - get on a treadmill out in the open, tune into a show about Tupac, Biggie and Suge and start my 20 minute warm up.
5:47 - get a drink, pee again, head into the cinema room to do some drills and watch some Hanna.
6:03 - manage to get back on a treadmill because somehow ALL of them were occupied when i was done with my drills and stuff. ALL of them, with a line even. 3 were broken, too.
6:04 - tune into Toddlers and Tiara's and start up my workout.
6:34 - intervals done
6:35 - head to the locker room because i decided i needed to change back to my old orthotics
6:38 - stop at the water fountain and stand there waiting as two girls just stood there infront of them
6:41 - found a free treadmill, tunned back into toddlers and tiara's and started 20 min cool down.
7:01 - done! whew! finally
7:02 - see that the stretching area is totally full so head to the "ladies only!" section and just lay there for a few minutes
7:06 - start stretching and doing some PT
7:20 - head to the locker room to shower
7:35 - get in the car and start the drive home
7:50 - arrive home
gracious. that was a long 1:10 run.

so today, for lunch, i had this:

because i knew i was going to have this directly after:

what is that you ask? its a carmelita from Whole foods. Unfortunately i love them. and like the poptarts in the vending machine, once i start thinking about them, there is a certain gravitational like pull that puts them in my mouth.
oh dear. well, at least i managed to not also take down my afternoon snacks.
but i got on the trainer when i got home and eric made a penne bake which is da'bomb so i ate two big bowls of that. when he first started making it back in the day he would use the good sausage, im talking the good stuff, and we would easily go through it in a night. until i did some math and figured it has like 100 grams of fat and 1200 calories in that package.

i do like on the jimmy dean site, right above this image there is the following:

gross, right?? anyway, eric uses some sort of turkey sausage now which is still not good for us but better.
now i am patiently waiting for the kids to go to bed so i can have the last of the pinckney cookies that the evil eric brought home yesterday, or maybe a bowl of cereal. i think my metabolism is finally kicking back in, or something.

skiing

we went skate skiing again today. it is exhausting. so fun but wow, i am really tired. eric was trying to tell me that for every hour of skate skiing, its the same as 3 hours of cycling. not sure that is right, but considering i have yet been able to manage 2hrs of actual ski time, its probably not too far off.

yesterday was uber productive! despite having imbibed lemony goodness friday night, and dreaming about sodas all night long and when eric woke up in the morning i asked him to get me a coke and he said no but sho' nuffs when i did get out of bed eventually i got a coke which while i was drinking it the kids were like - omg what are you doing!! since they haven't ever seen me drink the coca colas before. but i got out the door and swam for an hour. man, i am the slowest swimmer in all of the universe. how do i know this you ask? because i was doing a hard 100 and the aqua jogger in the lane next to me was keeping up. :(
but then i got on the treadmill and ran for 1:10. i was tired of running in the snow and slush and since i had escaped the cul de sac, i decided to take advantage of the treadmill. it was a good run, nice and easy, trucking along.
after i had to head into seattle to get my eyelashes did but did some shopping while i was there. i picked up this tank:http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif

only in black with black camo underneath. maybe i will look cute next time i go to the gym. or maybe when i am out running this summer? i normally wear my old race shirts, and i tend to get those shirts in big big sizes, so i think maybe this will do a good job.
then i picked up a pair of jeans. they are one step away from jeggings i am afraid. i think, maybe.
but today while i was out skiing i thought of my new favorite blog, from the land of cheese and sunkist. she is working on improving her backside and has named it operation booty pop. well, while i was hiking it up yet another one of those hills, all i could think was too bad she lives in florida because i am pretty sure my booty is popping from today.
back to work and reality tomorrow.

its goes a little like this

i was just bragging about my 20 days on the wagon when i fell off. whoops!

a little bit of being snowed in, a little bit of loss of electricity, heat and internets. omg, beyblades are going to be the death of me. hot water was on, so that was good, and it all came on today, but add that to a rest day, an attempt at escaping only to high center the car on a block of ice/snow and then to have the brush guard broken and torn off (how much is that going to cost?) followed by jumping into the most giant monster truck imaginable and then hours and hours of waiting, well that results in the consumption of the strongest lemon drops ever, along with the tastiest mucho macho nochos and bbq burger followed by ice cream with 8yr old hot fudge. oh yummy, or something.

20 days was a good run, but it was, one could say, our anniversary celebration, right. we'll see how i feel in the morning. gotta swim, gotta run. omg, let's see if i gained 1000lbs. ah, joy. i have to get my eyelashes fixed. my right eye is almost eyelash free while my left eye still has them all. i am looking good, kinda like this, only opposite.

snowblast 2012

first, this is me getting the tiny, invisible E.

we spent our anniversary at home. we tried to go out but we couldn't get out of our hood. plus, we're pretty sure the place we were heading was closed due to the weather. i was on a business trip for our 5yr, and for 10yrs we are snowed in, which was nice after all.
next, this is fuzy laying on the Sky Mall rug. he loves it. he just walks right into the kitchen then falls onto his side with a thud. plop. he has one of his pompoms there with him. he loves them and carries them all over. yesterday i found about 10 of his toys in the fireplace in the living room.

today is day 3.5 of being snowed in. yesterday was exciting because there was no electricity, no heat, no internets, no cell receptions. good times. eric had the fire going all day which was nice. i went for a run outside which was nice, and then got on the trainer. i warmed my chamwow butter by the fire since it was so so chilly from being in the garage.

later we tossed both kids into sirus's bed, each in their sleeping bags with flannel sheet, quilt, blanket, and another quilt and of course footie jammies. we had our flannel sheets, down comforter, blanket, blanket, blanket. eric reminded me that although it was chilly in the house, we have been camping in much colder. the toughest part for me was no internets!!! we were lucky though that it was only for a day and that we had so much firewood. eric also moved all of our perishables out onto the deck, and while i was worried that the bears would come drink all of his beers and eat our yogurt, but alas, they did not.
speaking of which, today is day 20. i have not had any lemon drops, margaritas or beers in all of those days. wow, that was uber tough last night when eric pulled one of the beers from the back deck and began to chug it, all super frosty and super, omagosh, i wanted a sip. but i held strong, but he is very mean.

Sky Mall

i love it. it brings hours of entertainment with every flight.
i have even made two purchases from the sky mall catalog! TWO.

one was this rug a long long time ago. possibly pre-eric even. the color here is bad, but you can get the idea of what is going on. darling kitties drinking milk all at the same time. i like that some of them are laying flat on their bellies with their feet sprawled right behind them.


the other this the garden yeti. this was a father's day present for eric. the yeti is proving to be a little bit of a wuss as he isn't holding up too well in the severe weather of the pac nw. now he is wintering in the garage.


but today the catalog showed up and the cover totally grossed me out. i can't find it online, but its of a waterproof keyboard with coffee being spilled on it. only the coffee has cream in it, so its kind of that yucky coffee color and it looks terrible and gross on that cover. they should have dumped a soda or a black coffee or something. totally grosses me out. but i am thankful for that cover because i decided to look for a photo on line and although i couldn't, i found this which you may purchase from the catalog.

could you imagine pulling that thing out and blowing it up? better yet, at the end of your flight, deflating it, blowing all that stale air all over your row mates? ew, makes me shiver and laugh each time.

AND then for some reason while looking for the coffee spill cover photo, these photos came up and they are my very new most favorite favorites ever:


you never see football players doing this. or race car drivers, or not even golfers. i love cyclists, but they just need to stop doing this to themselves, although it does bring me great joy, so carry on, boys! carry on!

tilda

today janet braved snowblast 2012 to join me in the garage for some riding of the bikes. we did her favorite workout full of ILT, Spin Ups and Spin Outs. I was convinced she was going to be snowed in and live with us forever after but she must be an expert snow driver because she drove away with ease. however, i showed her my tattoo. she let out her awesome laugh to the point at which i thought she might begin to cry. then she semi composed herself, and asked, was that the wrong response? no, it was definitely not the wrong response, it was perfect. when i showed it to my mom, she couldn't even see it. i had to be like - right here, right here where i am pointing. oooh, now i see it.
the kids and i then went to the gym and then to get seamus's hair cut. she has been growing it out and it was a little past her shoulders. i loved it when she would let me put it in pig tails or most recently in one big pony tail in the back, i love when it is off of her adorable face, but she prefers to have it hang down, not even ever tucking it behind her ears. it drives me crazy. finally on friday she had a little breakdown, because brushing her hair twice a day is too much for her. so i scheduled an appointment and we got it cute. super short and stacked in the back, angling towards the front to a max length of right below her earlobes, and of course her bangs, she loves her bangs.
on the way to the hair cut, sirus was singing i'm sexy and i know it. seamus of course had to burst his bubble by telling him how he didn't even know what sexy meant. so of course he asked her. she said it was the same thing as sixty but he wouldn't buy it. she didn't know either, so he asked me if i knew what it meant, good lord. i said it was when people think you look good, so he continued to go on and on about he was sexy and he knew it.
i am fascinated with tilda swinton. here she is at the golden globes, fascinating!!!

40yrs and going strong

back in ohio there was a german deli right by our house. the deli always smelled weird, like terrible but there were always interesting things to look at in there. plus, the deli had two of the most tasty things every - first was a sandwich, kind of a sub i guess. i remember that it had some sort of pickle on it, i think. can't remember much more than that, but i remember that it was tasty and i could go for one right now.
but most notable is that they had a nut roll. what is that? its tasty goodness. my mom would send them to me when i went away to college and every time i came home to visit after moving away i would buy one or 4 to bring home with me.
sadly the german deli went out of business. so sad, it was where tasty goodness came from.
xtie found a nutroll once at a farmers market. she gave me some and i thought she told me where it was from, but i never went there. but i look for them. i figured we would find it in leavenworth but alas, there is none there. we even asked the people in the bakeries and none of them even knew where we could find it.
but yesterday, because eric hates me and loves me, made the nut roll.

apparently, when he picked sirus up from school, the crossing guard had a plate full of international treats. eric spotted a nut roll on that plate and instantly asked her about it. apparently one of the parents had made it for international day at school! she got the recipe for eric and then he made it!! 1st attempt was good, but not really right. i still ate the whole thing. for those of you who don't know. its like a loaf of bread. the whole loaf of bread. but then today when i came home, he had made another one! and this one is perfect!!! and i am trying not to eat the whole thing so i can share it with xtie and my mom this weekend. it might not make it, he might need to make another one. and begin mass production so we can sell them and make our millions. SO TASTY!!!

so last night when i was brushing my teeth before going to bed i decided that maybe i would get another letter of eric's name tattooed on me every 10 years. so his name will be complete on our 40th anniversary. when i told him this plan, i paused and was like, but then he'd would probably leave me when his name was complete. but he said no, he would leave me right after i get the I, so i would have just ERI. today, i was thinking, really i should have gotten a C and then just added the letters backwards. that would have worked, too.

i was like, wow. stop it.

haha!! so happy!! someone found my blog by searching for janet jackson armpits. i gag a little every time i think about those pits.

today sirus cleaned up the playroom. he did it by himself without being asked. but tonight, i overheard him tell eric that it was almost too big of a job for one man to handle. luckily, sirus is quite the man and was able to take care of it. he has been wearing his handsome vest the past two days. today he wore it with his handsome pants, which is kind of funny. he's got style.

other news. today i got a tattoo. i already had one. i got it in like 1997 i think. its been a long time and i forget that i have it. but! when i was having kids it was good because it points right to where the anesthesiologist plugs in the epidural! i was thinking ahead!

i had planned to get the new tattoo last april when i was in the SF area. we were down there for team summit which is always fun, but doubley fun was that i got to hang out with allie. never mind that she has moved into the deep deep south way far away and i won't get to see her this year, but she did all kinds of research and calling around to get me a tattoo appointment while i was there, only to discover that you really shouldn't swim with a new tattoo. what? who would have thunk it. so it was canceled. when in the world would i get around to it again?

if i would have been quick on my feet, i would have taken the opportunity when i first was getting treatment for my back and wound up taking some time off from training all together, but it didn't occur to me then.

then i could have gotten it done with i had my most recent surgeries since seeing as i wound up not swimming for like two weeks do to the resulting blood and guts, but again, i didn't think of it.

so, the tattoo was an anniversary present. to eric. from me.on me. really to retaliate against him for getting my name tattooed on his shoulder. he's had it on there for a long long time. not sure if it was before we were married or not, can't remember, that was a long time ago, but i do remember it was when he was at a race in wisconsin. he came home and was like ta-daaaaa! and i was like, wow! um, wow! i had told him i'd never get his name on me. not because i didn't love him, but just because, why would you do that? so for our 10yr anniversary i decided that the letter E would suffice. the size of a penny, in white, on my hip.

i went today at lunch and had it done and wow, it really hurt. i remember my other one being more of a buzzing, but this one, i was like, wow. stop it. luckily it is very small and it really didn't take any time at all.

when i came home i showed it to eric. he was like, huh? you got a scar? and i was just like, see, its a little awkward when someone gets a tattoo for you. and he was like, but its just an E. That could be an E for anything. to which i responded with, exactly, and E in almost see through invisableness. so we had a few laughs. he thinks its cute. it is pretty cute.

i showed it to seamus and she said she won't ever get a tattoo. internets - here it is, documentation of her saying that on 1/11/2012. please internets don't become technologically obsolete before she is 18!

speaking of technologically obsolete, while watching the star wars movies with the kids, eric had a good point. how is it possible that c3po and r2d2 remained functional and relevant for all those years and years when my phone is like only a year old and is totally obsolete already?

trying really hard!

really i am! i am trying to stay on track but alas, it is very difficult. especially when faced not just with a rest day but an entire rest week! the week still involves plenty of activity but not enough to warrant the pinckney cookie (at least now they are all gone) and trader joe's candy cane jojos (yikes, there is still an entire row of them left!!)that were just consumed. a bit of a binge today since there were some reese's peanut butter cups taken down earlier PLUS two hershey kisses, each propped on it's own spoonful of peanut butter. gah!!! at this rate, i might as well drink the entire bottle of patron that has been taunting me.
at least i had no resolution about sweets, only the alcohol, and i am doing pretty good with that one.

while looking for the candy cane jojo image, there was this photo of a mini cheesecake that was was made sitting on top of a jojo. we have made those where you put the nilla waffer under there, but an oreo like cookie would be wonderful!




while searching for images of hershey kisses sitting on their own spoon of peanut butter i found these totally cute hershey kiss acorns!

i also found this example of nipple cookies gone bad.
and THESE! i am totally going to make these.
but this is what the pinckney cookies look like: totally delish.


save me! save me!!!

pits

i don't want the chef's table entrees even if they are free.

more??

this trend has got to stop.

its a good think i like armpits

what is this?? who in their right mind thought that this was a good photo to use? COME ON. i will admit that i did click on it, but just to see if there were more photos of janet jackson's armpits and you KNOW those nasty things were totally photoshopped. tyra is always telling the top models to stop showing us the pits, no one wants to see them but apparently everyone at nurtisystem thinks that we do and that we must in order to be a success.

progress

making progress i am!! yahoo. hope to stay on this path for a while.

today at work i thought i was having an appendicitis. oh it was horrible. so horrible i started getting dizzy and i was going to throw up and all i wanted to do was lay down. i called eric and was all woe is me. i was almost headed to the hospital and then i felt better and i no longer had an appendicitis. so i went for an hour run. now i feel fine but i think i need to roll around on the tennis ball for a bit. eric thinks its from my new favorite beverage of choice, hot water with lemon.

i ran on the treadmill at the gym. i was at they gym yesterday as well. its crazy there, every treadmill is taken, i watched 10 cars pull into the totally full parking lot as i was trying to turn out of it. new years resolutions in full swim. except for at the pool. yesterday i showed up and there was 1 guy in there. i stood on the side of the pool and was like, eww, its pretty foggy in there. he said yeah, and chilly, but he said he was pretty sure it was totally safe. ha. doubtful, but i got in and swam anyway. today i walked by the pool, only today there wasn't anyone in it except a few little kids sitting on the side with their feet in. but it wasn't foggy any more. so that was good. hoping its clear and not so cold tomorrow morning. gotta get back on the morning training train. today while on the treadmill, i was watching 24. the last time i was there and they were showing 24 jack's wife and daughter were being held captive. this time the wife and daughter were fine, but jack was held captive and then they got his daughter again. i'd be so mad if i were his wife and daughter.

we're watching cowboys and aliens. i sure do like daniel craig. but why does harrison ford talk like that now that he is old?

at the end of the first star wars when princess leia was giving luke and han solo their medals, sirus said that really she was just trying to decide which of them she was going to marry. he also said that darth vader doesn't have a gun like the rest of his team.

progress people. progress!!! moving in a positive direction!

Sparklinglady's Blog Star Date: 2012

the new year is off to a good start.
only 2 of my eye lashes have fallen out which, seems pretty good to me considering the lady was telling me i needed $50 of lash care products and another appointment by the end of next week. i passed on all of that. let's keep these lashes the way they are. although, i haven' yet swam with them, i wonder if they will fit in my goggles. tomorrow is the day to find out.
yesterday we went skate skiing. it was so fun. it was so nice to be out in the fresh cold air, but still so warm and working so hard. what i want to know is why did we feel like we were going so fast when really we were going at what would equate to a slow run pace? my pace was improved from friday, and i don't know what a good pace is, but i was happy with the workout, the weather was fantastic, eric was fun and i am excited to have gotten to try it. now i am trying to figure out when i can go again. apparently it is ok to swap out any bike ride for some skate skiing, but i must continue to run, ya know, to continue to adapt to the pounding. apparently i need to get some new shoes, too.
i wanted to get my haircut today. its a mess. but the guy wasn't in today. now i will likely wait another several months. i am starting to realize why he keeps trying to give me bangs. my hairline is rediculous and i guess he is trying to cover up my non-botoxed forehead. they used to tease me in college that i had a squishy forehead. i dont really remember it being squishy, but now, some days, its so squishy that i a wrinkle it up and then it sticks like that! and in the summer time! i swear it winds up being striped! good thing i live some place where there isn't any sun.
i have come to realize that maybe i am having a bit of a reaction to the neosporin that i have been using on my surgery site. what is strange is that i am less self conscious over the giant red oozing blob that is now there than the red bump that was there before. maybe its my lovely eyelashes.
i go back to work tomorrow, which after a long vacation is always a little scary, mainly because i'm never quite sure if any of my pants will fit. i have worn my house uniform pretty much the past 17 days and that is it. fingers crossed!

we be illin'

yeah, so. the end of 2011 is headed out with a bunch of sneezes and sinus pressure. maybe a little fever, too. ugh.
luckily most of my 17 day vacation has been healthy, although i did spend most of it in bed, sleeping and napping. but this week i felt like i was making some progress and then bam, like sick. which after taking a week off from swimming to let my plastic surgery heal, the one swim i did do on tuesday felt as though i hadn't swam in like ever, like it was my very first swim evar. and then i skipped the swim yesterday and now i will likely skip it tomorrow too. yesterday because i felt some arse coming on. today was a rest day unless i was feeling antsy then i was to go on an easy run. SO we picked up my skate skiis and i tried it out to get in some practice for sunday, assumming we are better by then. it was so fun. maybe not the most brilliant thing to do considering i wasn't feeling so awesome, but it was way fun. then we came home, watched empire strikes back with the kids, drank three mugs of hot water with lemon and then had a bunch of ice cream.
we watched star wars with the kids yesterday and today empire strikes back. today was awesome because as darth vader was kneeling down talking to the emperor and sirus asked "why is darth vader sitting criss cross applesauce?" what a funny thing to imagine. oh i wish i could remember some of the funny things he was saying while we were watching star wars though. he got r2ds, c3po, chewbaca and darth vader for xmas. he of course referred to that peanut butter guy and seamus was excited to say she knew who chewbacwa was. love it.
now i am counting down the moments until i can take a few swigs of the nyquil and hit the hay.

if i could turn back time

ok, cher, you can lay off..

so back in august amazon local had a deal for lash extensions! after seeing a friend with beautiful, natural, lovely looking lashes i jumped on that opportunity!!
so i finally got in to have them installed. she put some cooling pads on my lower eyes which were nice since i was uber puffy from two days of ham dinners, and an hour of swimming right before. then she taped my lower lashes down! and thank goodness i got to have the whole thing done with my eyes closed, i really hadn't thought about how they would be installed until i go there but was pretty sure i did not want to have my eyes open for the 2hrs that it was going to take. then she taped my upper lids up? but not open, but up enough to have the lashes point up or something. i told her it was all clock work orange and stuff. AND THEN!!! i fell asleep. for like an hour and 1/2!! how funny is that?? every once in a while i woke up because she'd be tugging on something but mostly i was just asleep. when i woke up though, my hands had fallen asleep and the back of my head was killing me!!! so she let me roll my head a little and i bent my knees up some and shook my hands some and then, bam i was done.
wow. so yeah. hmm. mixed feelings about the results. crayz! a bit crazyier than expected. my friend's were so pretty an natural. mine, not so much. i went into it as an experiment, to see if i might want to do them again for a special occasion, not really with the intention of all the upkeep, but wow, did not expect the craziness that ensured. i went to gym after and felt like everyone was staring at me! ok, so normally they do stare because they are amazed at my extreme athleticism and all, but this time, i was like, hmm, they really are staring. when i got home, sirus said he wished i had my normal lashes back. and seamus didn't even notice until i stared at her and then she said she wanted her real mommy back. good lord. so they are on there until they fall out with my normal lash shedding pattern. maybe i will get to wear my NEW dress with my NEW lashes sometime before they fall out?? oh yeah, i accidentally got a new dress.
the kids and i went down town and i tried on a bunch of dresses at betsey johnson and everyone knows that is a terrible idea and sirus was so funny! as the girl was hanging the dress and pulling a lovely pink bag over it, he was pretty much narrating what she was doing with the giant bag to the point where he told her she was doing a really great job. she paused and stared at him and then just kind of giggled. but OMG on the drive to the gym after the lashes, OMG OMG a GIGANTIC spider crawled across the ceiling of the car!! right overtop of me!! i almost crashed like 8706 times while i watched it make its journey until it got to the other side AND THEN!! spun a web and lowered itself down to the floor where it disappeared!! totally forgot about the spider by the time i got back into the car after the run until i was about 1/2 way home, and it was dark and couldn't see it even if the spider was dangling right in front of my face.


this is my before look, totally eastern european, goggle remnants from the morning swim, dermatologist healings, bad hair, you know. kind of what i look like on a daily basis. good lord is that really what I look like on a daily basis?? wow TMZ and the paparazzi are going to love this!!!


and the after look - less puffy eyes, doe eyed deer look, possible anime, still no makeup. better? not sure. oh, i got my eye brows done, too.


and the new dress!! can't wait to wear it!! i will wear heels with it though. no flats here. and the feathery thing is detachable, so might just detach it and mix in something else.

surgeried upon parts trois and quatre

oh the lemon drop has gone straight to my legs. i love that feeling. but the legs, she are tired. sunday i did a fun run with some of the goils. then thank goodness it was raining so we skipped sledding and i hung for some coffee talk then went to the gym. good gracious, i did some step ups and bulgarian split squats, both with weights an omg, days and days later i am still suffering!! ok, it was only a day ago, sort of, depending on how you count.
but this mornign i went to the dermatoligist. i was surgeried upon for dermatology relates issues in 2006 and in 2009. 2006 was abnormal but they got it all. 2009 was all displasiaed and stuff and i had to go back again to get it dug out even more. so anyway, i got back every year and every year, she takes my butt cheeks and looks between them. this year was no different. but also this time i got that thing on my leg frozen off and then the thing on face cut off. chop chop. slipped outta there in sunglasses and a hat pulled down low all movie starlet pastic surgeried like. i say i had an exorcism performed upon me, i am no longer a witch! and sirus was happy to hear it! and then there is a spot on my head that i need to keep an eye on. sweet. wrinkles, pimples, grey hairs and stuff on my face that i need to get cut off. awesome. i am aging gracefully.

dream

last night i had a dream about my dad. that doesn't happen very often, i think i can only remember having dreamt about him a few times before. but last night he came to move in with us, which was a little odd. he was friends with one of my co-workers and they would hang out. my co-worker would refer to him as an old man, because he was 67, and then i said to my co-worker that he was pretty much an old man himself. he had all his mail forwarded to our house. i went to get the mail and there was a "make your own pair of shoes" kit for me, but then a huge stack of business reply cards for my dad. i went through them and noticed that he was doing a lot of business with my current work. how did i not know that? did he know i worked there too?

it was late december 1997 when i was back in Ohio visiting my mom for xmas, when i had gone to Eat N' Park with Cary for coffee. we were supposed to go to lisa's after and when we got to her house, lisa came out crying. it is such a weird thing to see your friends crying, you don't want it to happen and i instantly wanted to console her. i didn't understand what was going on but she told me i had to call home right away. my brother was at the house and he told me what had happened and that i needed to come home. dad had been out running while on vacation in mexico and he had been hit by a truck. of course my initial reaction was - but he's ok, right? he was not ok.
i can't remember if i cried then. it was a really weird, sureal feeling. i probably cried but it was also almost too big to comprehend, and what if i misunderstood what my brother had told me. i got home and what i had heard was confirmed to be true. he was not ok. he wasn't coming back. he was only 53. then i cried a lot.
my initial selfish thought was - who is going to walk me down the isle when i get married? i also remembered that i hadn't spoken to him since november, and that when i got off the phone after that call, i had remembered thinking how it was probably the best phone conversation i had ever had with him. he had moved to mexico for work not even a year before. i remember him calling me at school and even though my parents had been divorced for 10 years already, when he said he was moving to mexico, it was really the first time i ever felt like he was leaving. i didn't really want him to go, even though i saw him maybe once or twice a year, but i also thought it was a pretty great opportunity and i was hoping to get the chance to visit someday. we weren't going to get together over xmas because we were planning a family trip to all meet up in las vegas in february. he was going to run the marathon which was in february back then and us kids were going to head out there to see him and to hang out. we hadn't ever had a vacation like that before, so we were all looking forward to it. i was also excited to show him my bleach blonde hair, my newly pierced nose and tell him more about my exciting (cough cough) job at a successful internet start up. i was a success!! and i wanted to tell him all about it.
but on december 21 1997, that opportunity was taken away.
those first few years were weird. i had a lot of growing up to do so this only added to the turmoil i was already experiencing. the blonde hair grew out, the exciting job at the start up turned into a trip to thailand, to london, to morocco and then 2 months in costa rica. after the trip to costa rica i was a different person. i swear that that trip saved my life.
i started mountain biking, i was taking better care of myself, i adopted a 3rd cat and i met eric.
i think about my dad quite a bit. when i have tough times at work, and really don't know what to do, i really wish he was here to talk to. once i asked him what he did for work and after like 45 minutes of explaining, i really couldn't tell you what it was. but now so often i would really like to bounce some ideas of off him and get his advice.
i think about him when i run. he was a great runner. he had run on and off for as long as i can remember, i even remember all piling in the car with my mom to go track him down when he was caught in a torrential down pour and asking him why he walked to the end of the driveway before starting to run. but when he was like 45 he started running more regularly. he ran, and he ran, he ran some more. i didn't understand his accomplishments, and i fear that none of us in the family did. he had a personal best of just under 3hrs for a marathon, he placed top 5 in his age group in many races, one year he ran 11 marathons in 12 months. again, i would love to be able to talk him about running, to find out how he could run so fast and what drove him to run the many miles he did. its also so sad that he never got to have a garmin!! he would have loved a garmin!!!
i also think about him when i look at my kids. he never got to meet my kids. i can't even imagine what he would have been like with them. i don't think i had ever seen him even interact with kids. i think he would have liked them. i get the weepiest about that, even 14 years later.

sunday sunday, la la, la la la la

today is the last day of my staycation. so sad. it was glorious but it went by so very quickly. but ever since friday i kept thinking it was sunday. but now, it is.
we took the kids up to go sledding up at snoqualmie pass for some sledding the other day. it was so fun. we didn't know what we were doing, so we wound up parked by some sign that said sno park, but there really wasn't any that we were expecting. but we hiked up this hill, we think it must be a snowshoe or maybe even xc skiing trail, but we went up about a mile, every 5th step dropping in at least knee deep if not further, but it was up up up. so fresh, and clear and brisk. it was sunny and i even started to build up a little sweat even. i was impressed that the kids kept trucking forward, too. there was some complaining but not a ton, but enough. eventually, we put the kids on the sleds and then pushed them down the hill. i was on sirus's sled for a while until he kicked me off saying that i was too big and i was slowing him down. this turned out to be true, because once he was by himself, he was going going going! screaming and yelling the entire time. it was very funny. when we got to the bottom they wanted to do it again, but we needed to get home, it was late.
today i was on the trainer for a few hours. i really do like the trainer. i like a controlled environment and numbers and stuff. plus i would rather drip sweat than be rained on in the cold.
i have gotten all caught up with dexter, season 5 was so good!!! season 3 and 4 were ok but not great but season 5 was awesome. then based on the advice of my boss i decided to start watching breaking bad which i am almost all the way through season 1 of (are there more seasons?) but i am very much enjoying it!
the other night eric and i watched this show called being human. its brittish, about a vampire and warewolf who live together in a house that is occupied by a ghost. it was actually quite good.
today at the mall, i bought a pair of leggings. goodness, i don't know if i will have the balls to wear them out of the house, especially with no boots to wear them with! but then i came home and ordered a few things from my new favorite store Splendid! love it.
.

fine line

there is a fine line between feeling quite good and feeling hammered. that is all i have to say about that.
things have been pretty good lately. my back and ass have been on and off again, i got a "medical" bike fit, so i may look like a barney on my bike but it is allowing me to heal. allegedly. it does feel better for sure, but it needs some lubey, too. and i ran today! i've run a few times, on the treadmill, with a walk break here and there but today was the first run i have done where it was run the whole 50 minutes! hooray! and i felt ok after even! i swam after and i could have been swimming in place for all it was worth but still, it was pretty good.
i had the whole week off from work which was totally delux. except i started it off totally sick which in hind site was fine since i slept like 36 hours with a few wake breaks in there, but then i was better! hooray!!
i did an indoor tri a few weeks back, can't remember if i mentioned that. it was super short but super tough. i haven't done any intensity since like august so it totally kicked my butt. thankfully i hadn't done any straight running yet eihttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifther so i took some walk breaks during my 1.5 mile run. haha, yes, 1.5 miles. walk breaks. multiple walk breaks. sweet. i was dying. it was fun though.
what else? every since my shopping excursion with brooke, ive been doing some more shopping on my own. i have to calm it down here pretty soon. i have had no luck with boots, even had two pairs at home recently which i thought were pretty good but decided that i wouldn'tactaully ever wear, at least not as often as i would like, so back they went. these crocs sandals are going to have to be replaced for the winter here real soon though. real soon. but i have total insecurities about the boots! i have two pairs of boots that i already own that i totally love! the one pair that i bought a bout a year ago which i thought were quite sensible, i got rid of those because i am convinced they are at the root of my problem. but i have my stupid favorite boots, that are perfect in every single way, i got them right after i had sirus and they are perfect!!! except i can't wear them any more because of the heel, at least not for every day wear. but if they had a flat heel, then we would be talking!! then i have some other boots that have a totally sensible square heel which are perfect except that that square heel is too tall for my messed up feet, legs and back these days. ugh. two pairs of perfect boots, that i already own even, that i can't really wear. :( so i am trying to get something that measures up to their awesomeness. i do have some sweet motorcycle boots but because brooke worked with me to find the perfect skinny jeans, i can't wear them unless i wear my boot cuts, and if i am going to wear the boot cuts, i am going to wear the danskos, because they are comfortable. and awesome. and great. and i love them.
trying to figure out xmas presents for the kids. i want sirus to have a very star wars xmas, but he is only sort of into star wars. so i will only force a little bit of star wars on him - got him some sheets and going to get him some action figures - that he will love!!! and seamus, good grief, what do the almost 8 year olds want these days?? from what i can gather, teeny tiny things that they can leave all over the house. she is growing out her hair! its cute! but long, but not really yet. her one front tooth that she has lost has now grown back in and is HUGE compared to all the baby teeth around it. i think the only reason she lost it was because she banged her face on sirus's head. but she has lost only 4 teeth. pretty sure she should have lost more than that by now. sirus hasn't lost any! she had a wiggly tooth a few weeks ago, i jsut asked her about it, she said it is less wiggly than it was, she says she doesn't have time to always be remembering to wiggle it.
feeling pretty good these days, a little more on the optimistic side of things!

damnt it

i want to go to bed but eric just put in a movie and i am intrigued.
other news, the new twilight movie is comign out soon and i haven't even cracked the cover of the last book despite eric running all over the airport looking for it over a month ago. i need to start reading it so i can get 1/2 way through so i can see the movie.
but i need to go to sleep BUT eric put in this stupid movie and now i must watch.
despite recently confessing on facebook that i like justin timberlake, i am not particularly fond of cameron diaz, but this is one of her movies. gah!!!
when i put sirus to bed tonight, i was overly chatty. he told me about how he would like it if i wore different earings sometimes and maybe a flower shaped nose ring. then he told me he was really tired and wished i would leave. nice.
ok, need at least 8hrs!!!

punishment

my punishment for bragging to the internets about my lower level of stress is that my car broke down!! at whole foods!! in the rain!! and it forced me to eat a camelita!!!
gah!!

stress

i have been doing pretty well in the stress department lately. not much of it happening, one of the biggest stressors right not really is why can't i find a descent pair of boots that don't make me look like a pirate? i have narrow calves i guess but its not like they are abnormally so, but its impossible. i went to nordstrom the other day, i asked the nice man, i said, i am looking for black, flat heel, narrow calf. he came back with a pair of uggs, a pair of stilettos, a pair of 3inch heels and a pair of Ivanka Trump's with a bunch of gold all over them.
what i don't understand about my lack of significant stress is that i have begun to have my stress dreams again. lots of people dream about falling, or public speaking all nekkid or whatever, i dream about tsunamis. and there have been a lot of them lately. that dream also involved an orca swallowing a swimmer in one piece. and fuzzy stripe playing in the toilet while it was flushing and getting sucked down the pipe! but i was able to get him out so that was good. anyway, tsunami dreams.
but i am sad to report that my back isn't feeling so great today, it was kind of bothering me yesterday, too. but then it kind of really bothers me today. i don't know what to do.

on the road

so i was having a total downward spiral into depression, obesity and beyond. but luckily halloween came and i ate a cupcake and 6 giant cookies (that were really delicious at the time) and it was the first time ever that i was like, omg, i'm like dizzy and i think i am going to be sick.
the next day, i had another cupcake, a leftover from the at work halloween party and i felt dizzy and sick again. i have not had the sweets since then, unless you call the sugar rim of a few lemon drops the sweets. but its a big accomplishment. i was avoiding going to the main floor at work because i didn't think i could pass by the receptionists desk without stopping. i have since had a meeting or two up there and have been able to avoid it. i even go up there sometimes to use the ladies room because the mirror is better up there, and sometimes you need to not see a reflection of you being all squished. but also, i haven't had any of the kids halloween candy. i just haven't wanted any. we picked up full sized bars to hand out to the kids for halloween. 30 of them from costco. we have like 22 of them left. ugh, we had only 3 groups of kids, one group was only one little Dorothy and that was it.
but i feel like i am getting back on track which is good. plus my training is coming back nicely. i've been swimming, although i did have a heart to heart with my coach about how kicking is really overrated and that we should really consider not doing it. he said ixnay on the no ickingkay. but i convinved him to at least let me kick on my back for a while, which has been waaaay better. a few of the drills i have been doing are starting to stick, too, making sense in my normal stroke, so i think things are good there. still doing a good amount with the buoy but that is good. i've also done a few 2hr rides! ok, indoors on the trainer because i am the biggest woose in the world. yesterday i had the kids, so it was all i could do, but the the previous week it was beautiful out. but i was woosy. but about 50 indoor miles this week which is pretty good for me right now.
and, AND i have been running. like not in the water. again i am a woose, ok, i am just realizing that its probably wuss, but woose is kinda funny. but i did 10 indoor miles! my run intervals have increased to 4 minutes, walk intervals have decreased to 1 minute and pacing has dropped to 8:20. of course not for the whole thing but for 2 of the 4's. i am soooo out of shape. but feeling good and feeling happy.
and other good things are going on too. so right now, stuff is good. looking forward to the rest of 2011 and i think 2012 will be a good year, hoping to keep this injury at bay though. i can still feel it, but as long as i get in there and do some pt right after any activity it seems to be ok.

yesterday and today

ugh, so last night i had 3 cookies! and the beer and 2 slices of the caramel apple. :(
i have no ability to control myself. i didn't go to the candy dish, but did i pay for it after work? today i didn't go to the candy dish either, but its still early, plenty o dammage to be done still.
help me!! help me help me!!!

pjs

the other day when i was putting sirus to bed, he wanted to wear his brand new transformers that allie and z sent to him for his birthday. i told him he should really wear different jammies because the transformers were starting to smell a little like farts. he replied with - all of my jammies smell like farts because i fart when i sleep.
im on a diet. but i am drinking a beer. did i mention that the other night while settling into bed after some good old lemon drops i resolved to not drink so much, maybe take some time off. that lasted until the next evening. ugh. BUT, really i need to drop a few. i read somewhere that its ok to gain up to 12% of your weight in the off season. holy smokes, thats a lot, and i certainly don't want to do that. but my premature off season surely jumpstarted the off season weight gain. oh and increase in bodyfat. bleck. gross. i fought all day long to not go to the candy dish at the resceptionists desk. because of this, i didn't even go upstairs during the day for fear i wouldn't be able to get past that damn dish!! so i made it all day without hitting the candy dish, and i got through lunch with some good choices - quinuio or however its spelled mixed with some crap, tasty and allegendyly good for me crap but still. i think there was pumpkin in it, billed as squash. but i am pretty sure it was raw pumpkin. and then some other stuff, like bulgar or something and crap and some spinach.
so yeah, dinner was good, nothing too terrible about that when the oven beeped stating that it had reached the desired temp. what was going into it? eric was baking cookies. WHAT THE HELL. we still have two caramel apples in the fridge - we made them the other day and they are the BOMB. but which is the smarter choice - beer, cookies or caramel apples? i bet its the caramel apples, so i am having beer.
oh baby jesus, help me to not eat too many cookies when they are done cooling!!!

whoaaa!!!!

omg, so just like last year i am sitting here watching the posts on twitter and facebook of the xterra worlds championships. the suspense is KILLING ME!! my very best boyfriend dan hugo is bouncing around in like 2nd and 3rd since somewhere on the bike and now 3 miles into the run is still holding his own. but the twitter updates are a bit tough to follow, or maybe the race really is as close and they are making it, with the order constantly changing? conrad stoltz dropped out at mile 2 of the run due to asthma, which is crazy. he must be really messed up to drop out with only a few miles to go. hope he is ok. but dan, oh my lovely dan!! i am rooting for you!!!
anxiously waiting to hear how danelle kabush is doing as well as cori and swim coach matt!!!
aaaak!!!!

oh good grief

good stuff going on! i went for a run yesterday!! granted it was for 2 minutes but still i was running! ok, so i got to repeat it 4 times, so 8 minutes total. during that first 2 minutes i thought i was going to die. huffing and puffing and all, how did i ever do this before? i'll never be able to be a runner again! but then by the 3rd one i was feeling much better but at the same time happy that there was only 1 more to do. i had done some aqua jogging in the shallow pool the day before and my calves were killing me. so i decided to wear the compression socks for the run, to reduce the jiggle and in the past they have helped. but i decided to do this ground breaking run at the gym, and i had an internal conflict - do i walk though the gym looking like a total tool with my compression socks pulled all the way up and hop on the treadmill for 2 minutes? or do i push them down and show off my uber hairy beast-like legs? what at dilema! so i pushed them down, walked quikly through the gym, and jumped into the room where they have the big screen tv and the lights turned down. http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif
then today was another ground breaking day - i rode OUTSIDE!! omg. i almost passed out just typing it. it was kind of like the injured girls ride, which was perfect because no one was pushing the pace. my back seemed ok, and still as of right now it feels ok, too. before i left for the ride i was sorta of having an anxiety attack or something where all i wanted to do was clean and organize. and when i got home that was totally what i did. went through my medicine cabinet and bathroom drawers and threw out all of the expired makeup, lotions, cleansers and other crap that i've been holding onto for some unknown reason. then i moved onto some drawers of crap that needed sorted out and i got ride of a bunch of that stuff. its so nice to clean! wow, i could do more, i want to do more! pitch it all!!!
tomorrow is the xterra world championships. i had planned on going. i was all set to go all the way up until the beginning of august when i decided i just didn't want to ride my mtn bike and i canceled my registration. i had spent most of the first part of the summer on my road bike and my sweet new tri bike, and then i went on two mtn bike rides and had two laaaame crashes. and that is when i decided. the not two weeks later i hurt my back. wtf. but now the race is tomorrow and i am sad that i am not going. so many fun people are out there right now, getting ready for the race. all without me!! waaah!!! how can they be having so much fun without me there? but at least i got to ride my bike outside with some of my fav peeps and it didn't rain on us and it was on the warmer side.
internets can you desipher my dream for me? i went to the dermitologist because i wanted her to look at this thing on my leg, kind of like by my ankle. she told me to take a shower then wrap up in some big fluffy white towels. then she told me to play family feud with these other doctor and nurse people. and i did. then like after about an hour and a 1/2 and me getting worried that eric was going to get annoyed for having to wait for me so long, i finally was like, when can you look at the thing on my ankle? she took a peek, said ooooh, yeah, well, hmm. let me get ready to work on that. then she went to take a shower and then the people i was playing family feud with said she had been drinking wine and needed to sober up. then the dream sorta drifted out into something else.
fuzy stripe got neutered yesterday. big news right there. hoping he calms down and leaves nadj alone a little bit.

i'm watching you

ok, not really, i am watching xfactor. something weird is going on with it. its nutty. simon is getting all pist because they are making the songs their own. he doesn't like it.
on another note, i have been getting in a bit more exercise. had a 50 minute trainer workout yesterday. got up into the zone3. i even broke a but of a sweat. it was awesome. this morning janet took me to samena! i didn't go in the outside pool although i am kind of craving some cool crisp, clean water! but i was toasty warm in the inside and my intervals were hard. janet joined me for the last 10 minutes and i can see why the old ladies kind of just hang out in the pool floating around chatting. and then when i got home i did another 20 minutes on the trainer and OMG i better start some super long fat burning workouts soon!! gaaahh!!!! its baaaad!
what else? work is good!
we went to oktoberfest this past weekend. it was SO FUN. exactly what i needed. there was some beers, some chicken dancing, a little bit of a brat. ya know. good stuff.

but now i have to get my act together. make a plan and get this show back on the road.
BUT we are looking at remodeling the house! like BIG remodel! like, omg it will probably be under construction for like 5+ years but damn will it be nice when its done (i hope!) whoa!! we've been talking about it for a long time but meetings are being set up with architechts and ideas are being thrown around! let there be light! lots and lots of light!!

mid life crisis

if i am having a midlife crisis, does that mean i will only wind up being 74?
its been rough lately. i had a total breakdown when we got back from ogden. i am tired of looking like ass all the time, tired of bad hair, bad skin, ever increasing body fat % due to lack of exercise, always being tired. so i had my breakdown, and then i went shopping. totally a risky move when feeling so horrible, but i went to nordstrom and found one of the sales girls there, brooke and told her i needed an overhaul. SHE WAS AWESOME. we picked out some jeans to start with, then she asked me what i was looking for in tops. i said nothing clingy and nothign that needed dry cleaning. she said i was really testing her fabric knowledge, but we looked at all the tags. she didn't discourage me from picking things out to try, but funny how the things i picked looked like ASS but the things she picked were super cute. but first we started with the denim, as she put it. she told me to try them on in a certain order. she got me different sizes and when i tried the smaller size and was freaking out by all the ass rolls, i asked her to come in the room and look. she said the ass rolls are exactly what they want to see! who knew??? so i picked out two pairs of skinny jeans. omg, yes, TWO. SKINNY jeans. i tried on some leggings and they looked horrible, but the skinny jeans were good.
then the tops. she brought me things to layer them all with and when i said i didn't like something she didn't try to convince me otherwise and instead just took it away and brought something else. it was awesome. i wound up with a TON of stuff, including a poncho?? what? when she was ringing me up, i asked her if she could go to shoes with me. she said she couldn't but called down there to see if her favorite shoe guy was there. he wasn't but that was ok. i did get a pair of boots but after determining they were too big around the calves i have since returned them. now i want to go back and see brooke again and see if i can hire her to be my stylist, at least for a day. go through my stuff and my shoes and all that stuff and help me put some stuff together. i did get some accessories, too, which i have been trying to encorporate every day. its been fun. NOW if only i could get my hair and face under control.
i did put my fake bangs on the other day and looked into some hair extensions. working on it. and so excited that i picked up the groupon for eyelash extenstions! cannot wait!! hate to be so obsessed with how i look, but i'm not getting any younger. and OMG the gray hairs!! wtf.
but PT is going pretty well. i have some set backs every once in a while, like yesterday i wore soem totally sensible old lady boots to work. they are aersoles for goodness sake!! low, very sensible heel, totally safe. until about 90 minutes into the work day and i realized i really really needed to take them off. luckily i brought my sandals and i changed out of them, and almost instantly the acute discomfort i was having in my back went away. i was sitting the whole time - how does that happen? anyway, those boots are going away, especially since i suspected them of sabotauging me in the past!!!. then i sat weird on the couch while using the computer and while that was ok, unfolding from it was not ok. thorough back agitation. but PT this morning fixed it. i rode on the trainer the other day!! how hooray is that? big time hooray!! and i was happy to figure out that the reason the 20 minutes i did the other day were so hard was because eric had cranked up the resistance! but i was happy to be spinning again. and swimming is going awesome. still with the pull buoy but that is more to my liking anyway. i can feel swim improvement happening! but serious lack of motivation it me the other day and i did nothing but be grumpy. i am on a leg shaving strike!! its really gross. when the PT did some work on my IT band i appologized for the extreme fur on my legs, i am not sure i have ever let it get this long, but i am protesting my injury. ok, so i did shave them before going to ogden - couldn't let dan hugo see them in that shape!! but they are baad. eric said, hmph, not a big deal, his are hairier. but still its gross.
but some good stuff going on. getting through it. not thrilled with the winter approaching but looking forward to progressing to a run here someday soon.

so what else is new?

omagosh! so much!!!
we went to ogden! good times at xterra usa championships! we decided to take the kids which turned out to be very fun. we flew out friday and got a MONSTER huge 11 person passenger van. best van ever!! sirus sat in the very backest back and seamus sat right behind us.
we went straight to ogden, the kids and i checked into the hotel then went over to the expo area. eric put his bike together and then met up with his buddy troy, who i had forgotten was the one who gave me all the pointers on which coffee grinder to get eric for xmas 6 or so years ago. the kids started running around all over the place in the kids zone. crazy non stop at altitude in the heat running around. i thought they were going to wear themselves out before the kids race, but they got some snow cones, met xterra world champ shonny vanlandingham and then were off. the xterra peeps did a great job with the kids race. it was one of the best kids races ever. the run was actually pretty far but then after, the called each kid up to get their medals. they used old number plates and medals from races all over which was super cool. then we went to the dinner - eric was regional champ! the dinner options were odd, and had i been racing i would have been like, uh, not nearly enough... it was all gluten free except the bread they had, and totally unfilling. anyway, it wound up being pretty expensive for the kids to each eat a plate of pineapple, strawberries and grapes, but whatever.
in the morning we all piled into the giant van, dropped erics shoes at t1 and then headed down to t2. eric stood in line for a million minutes for packet pickup and then finally got things going.
lance armstrong was there, he had an entourage and stuff. it was kind of cool to see him and the hubub and all that. he looked like a normal dude, only all of his stuff matched. all his nike live strong gear, all perfectly laid out. he was wearing the brand new TYR Freak of Nature wetsuit and had a really good swim. bff matt from high school came out for the race, so we hung out during the bike and run legs. seamus made some signs for all of her favorite racers! Daddy, Mat, Shonny, Danelle, Cori, Ashlie, Marci, Jason and Dan Hugo. we cheered as they all passed by on the bike and then rearranged ourselves a little up the hill to see them on the run. it was cool because we could see them coming down the mountain, head into and out of the switchbacks and then head up the hill again right before heading back down to the finish. i brought my outside voice and yelled for alls of them when we saw them on the switch backs, and then when they passed right by us. sirus even told me i was being too loud which is funny. lots of really great races going on out there! matt and jason both won their age groups, danelle came in 3rd overall for the women's, shonny, i don't know how she does it but she raced with a torn acl coming in 7th, and Dan Hugo came in 2nd! super stellar racing by these guys and everyone else. i was a little sad not racing and being part of the fun, but i really did have a good time watching and cheering.
later we took sirus to iFly Utah. seamus didn't want to do it but sirus was hilarious, bringing down the house with how funny he was!
what else?
omg, sirus turned 6 today. my sweet little baby is a big grown up 6. how in the world did that happen. makes me want to cry!!

ready

dude, if it weren't for the fact that the window is only 4 inches off the ground, i would totally jump out of it!! it took every iota of will power i had today to not visit the candy dish at work a 2nd time. now i am anxiously waiting for the kids to get themselves busy something so i can snag one of the last donuts.
the other night, the kids were all giving pointers as to what eric should do. i said i knew of something he should do but that i couldn't say it out loud. reason being is that i thot he should go to the store and get some stuff to make brownies and i didn't think the kids needed brownies. just me. but seamus wanted to guess what it was, so she asked if i wanted him to do an underwear fashion show. it was not, instead eric went on to display how either loves me or hates me by going to the store and getting the stuff to make the brownies, plus the extra chocolate chips and walnuts to load into them. they were geeeewwwddd. but those brownies are long gone, and now instead of that donut i am eyeing, which very well might not even be in the box sitting on the counter, i might instead go for a handful or two of chocolate chips and walnuts, or better yet, get a giant spoonful of peanut butter and toss chocolate chips on top of that.

OMG what is wrong with me???

and even more, i am facing quite the dilemma right now. eclipse just showed up from netflix. i want to watch it. BUT tonight is the first show of 2 and 1/2 men with ashton kutcher. i hate that show. but gawwdamitall, sometimes erci flips around and lands on the reruns and every single time i laugh at least once and it pisses me off!! but anyway, i kinda want to see what happens.

i ran on sunday! hooray! i am running tomorrow too! still walk 2 run 1. easy easy. lookin forward to it!!

appendicitis

so i am having one. right now. i must be! what else could it be? no wonder i have been feeling weird lately. whew, glad to have that figured out. i had an appendicitis last week soemtime, too. seems like i just keep getting them.
ugh.
so excited that i have been cleared to start running on saturday! 1 mile!! 2 min walk / 1 min run for that 1 mile. IF i feel ok, i can continue on for another mile.
omagosh - i am SO stuck in Twilight. i totally love it, i'm most of the way through the 3rd book, then i'll see the movie and i am hoping to get far enough along in Breaking Dawn by the time that movie comes out so i can see it in the theater. i have been cheating by looking at photos and watching the previews and trailers and stuff. SO excited about it. its rediculous. I'M rediculous.
i have been having interesting conversations with people about the movies. eric says he is team jacob. mat says so is he. i can't decide! i know its totally superficial and lame of me, but i really don't like that Edward has a big butt and it bothers me that jacob is supposed to be like 6'7" and he is only a little taller than Bella. Eric says the reason that none of the vampire's powers like being able to read her mind, or see her memories work is because there is nothing in there for them to see. she is a rock. totally empty. i want to know why we can call jacob, Jake but we can't call Edward, Ed. janet wants to know why edward doesn't turn into a bat. i asked eric this question. he said its because that is silly, but janet insists that it makes more sense for edward to turn into a bat then it does for him to be in love with bella. but bella smells delicious. i once worked with a girl names delicia, and my bf at the time called her delicious. she wore blue stirrup pants that were too small. she was nice but she was not delicious.
i want to know what would have happened if bella hadn't have gone to forks in the first place. i also want to know, other than his big butt/pear shape, why isn't edward a little more muscularly defined? she goes on and one about he is hard as stone but yet he looks kinda squishy. and why doesn't her mother love her and why can't her dad fix himself dinner? and was it career limiting that i told one of the sales people at work that the instant he walked into the office i was just like - OMG, its Edward! not because he reminds me of robert pattinson or whoever, but because he is sorta more like what i expected edward to be.
eric went to costco today. he called me to ask if there was anything i wanted him to get. i said NO GRANOLA! so i came home from work and there was granola. he said the woman in line in front of him had nothing but 6 boxes of the granola in her cart. well, DUH, its THAT good. i do wonder if my appendicitises are because of all the granola and blueberries i have been eating.

the kids and i are watching old school smurf cartoons.

AND eric is going to be racing against lance armstrong at xterra nationals. since its a mass start he will be right up there with him. THAT is kind of bad ass.

this is me pist off

see! pist! super pist! its morning! my pancakes are almost gone! i have to go to work! i have been sitting on my ass far too long! the 72 pounds of "muscle" i gained in the past year have turned into fat along with the extra 47 pounds i have gained while i am recovering. wow, no wonder my back hurts!!! uuuggghhh!!
but no really, this was the first test photo we took using the camera after it made its appearance in the canadian toilet. the camera is actually focusing now, too! the camera is actually quite old, i want to say like 4-5years maybe? we got it at walmart in vernal utah. gah! so many trips to walmart!! dude, when we were in portland i wasn't wearing my wedding rings. i had actually stopped wearing them quite often because its bad to swim in them, and whatever else, and i totally stopped racing in them. but i was feeling all lovey dovey about eric while we were on our way to that portland race. i can't remember why we stopped at walmart, but i said - i want a wedding ring. so right then and there, we went to the walmart jewelry counter and i got one! a nice, white gold band that i totally love. i like my fancy rings too, but this one is good, too. so lightweight, its like wearing nothing at all.
in las vegas, i had forgotten my ear plugs. so we went to the walmart there and i got some. US Divers, professional series or something like that. i wound up not wearing ear plugs at that race. i would prefer to find a k-mart but they aren't as pleantiful.
i'm getting a new wetsuit - hooray!!
i've been down in the dumps, i was super in those dumps the other day, but today i am feeling better. strangely dizzy and kind of sick to my stomach, but not so dumpy! tomorrow is thursday and i go to the PT again. i am almost on the healed list! i have been out of commission for so long now i can't even remember what it feels like to sweat and i can't imagine being active every day, sometimes TWICE in a day?? omg.

purge

i totally just purged all my drawers and the closet. everything that needs to be drycleaned is going to be donated. most things i haven't worn in the last year are going to be donated, too. shoes that i have tried to wear but can't stand being in for the 8hrs required at work - out. birkenstocks i've had since 1986 - staying! can't part with those!!
organized my shoes, most of which i can't wear or don't wear often but will keep for eternity because they are awesome. some i should get rid of. maybe next time around.
i would like to go through the entire house and just pitch EVERYTHING, i'm in that kind of mood, but the kids have most of their stuff confined to their rooms, so i will let it slide.
i swam. twice! yesterday and today. it was amazing. i have been so starved for some sort of physical activity that i am beside myself with its wonderfulness. i felt good, an i felt good after. well, yesterday things started to hurt on the drive back home but today, i have been feeling really good, even able to pick up the giant thing of cat food, the aforementioned purging. feeling good! what will i do tomorrow?
should i even bother mentioning how i slept in until 930 yesterday and then stayed in bed until 2:30 before finally getting up to swim? i was/am a little sick, so it was good for me!
my back has been a pain in my ass. PT all the time, no doing anything. standing is getting better but sitting pretty much blows. the one night i was in so much pain, it was a new horrible pain i didn't understand it, it had progressivly gotten worse during the day at work, but by the time i was home all i could do was lay on the floor. so that is what i did. eventually i got up and lasted about 20 seconds before i wanted to lay back down. standing on my right foot brought me to tears and just standing in general was horrible. laying down wasn't much better, i could feel my quads gradually tightening up, on the verge of cramping and then moving to my calves. it was horrible. i eventually called the nurse on call because there was no way i was going to make it through the night. we talked for a long time and she had me take some aleve and get on some ice. after a few hours i fell asleep and then in the morning, like most mornings, i was totally cured. until an hour or so later... but thank goodness that pain hasn't come back. it was horrible!
i've spent the weekend reading the 3rd of the twilight books and just chilling out. it was a sorta rough week so its been nice to just relax. can't believe its gone so fast, though.
we went to whistler!! for the xterra! i did not race. even if i was healthy i wouldn't have raced, are you kidding me? i am smart enough to know that whistler is not a place for me to be racing. mat went with us, he sat in the back seat with the kids an they loved it. he is good with them. the weekend itself was good, too. got to see friends and cheer on all the racers. it was exciting and eric did fantastic! mat did well, too, but eric broke mat's winning streak seeing as eric beat him at vashon by like 30 seconds, then mat beat eric at black diamond and portland both by about 30 seconds, so eric won this one. nationals will be an interesting one - who will win there i wonder?
everythign else has been ok i guess. i was sad to miss the two races that i had to cancel my registration for, the weather has been so amazing that its totally lame that i have not done anything! but the open water swim was delicious this morning! at least I got that in!