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Friday, December 30, 2011

we be illin'

yeah, so. the end of 2011 is headed out with a bunch of sneezes and sinus pressure. maybe a little fever, too. ugh.
luckily most of my 17 day vacation has been healthy, although i did spend most of it in bed, sleeping and napping. but this week i felt like i was making some progress and then bam, like sick. which after taking a week off from swimming to let my plastic surgery heal, the one swim i did do on tuesday felt as though i hadn't swam in like ever, like it was my very first swim evar. and then i skipped the swim yesterday and now i will likely skip it tomorrow too. yesterday because i felt some arse coming on. today was a rest day unless i was feeling antsy then i was to go on an easy run. SO we picked up my skate skiis and i tried it out to get in some practice for sunday, assumming we are better by then. it was so fun. maybe not the most brilliant thing to do considering i wasn't feeling so awesome, but it was way fun. then we came home, watched empire strikes back with the kids, drank three mugs of hot water with lemon and then had a bunch of ice cream.
we watched star wars with the kids yesterday and today empire strikes back. today was awesome because as darth vader was kneeling down talking to the emperor and sirus asked "why is darth vader sitting criss cross applesauce?" what a funny thing to imagine. oh i wish i could remember some of the funny things he was saying while we were watching star wars though. he got r2ds, c3po, chewbaca and darth vader for xmas. he of course referred to that peanut butter guy and seamus was excited to say she knew who chewbacwa was. love it.
now i am counting down the moments until i can take a few swigs of the nyquil and hit the hay.

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

if i could turn back time

ok, cher, you can lay off..

so back in august amazon local had a deal for lash extensions! after seeing a friend with beautiful, natural, lovely looking lashes i jumped on that opportunity!!
so i finally got in to have them installed. she put some cooling pads on my lower eyes which were nice since i was uber puffy from two days of ham dinners, and an hour of swimming right before. then she taped my lower lashes down! and thank goodness i got to have the whole thing done with my eyes closed, i really hadn't thought about how they would be installed until i go there but was pretty sure i did not want to have my eyes open for the 2hrs that it was going to take. then she taped my upper lids up? but not open, but up enough to have the lashes point up or something. i told her it was all clock work orange and stuff. AND THEN!!! i fell asleep. for like an hour and 1/2!! how funny is that?? every once in a while i woke up because she'd be tugging on something but mostly i was just asleep. when i woke up though, my hands had fallen asleep and the back of my head was killing me!!! so she let me roll my head a little and i bent my knees up some and shook my hands some and then, bam i was done.
wow. so yeah. hmm. mixed feelings about the results. crayz! a bit crazyier than expected. my friend's were so pretty an natural. mine, not so much. i went into it as an experiment, to see if i might want to do them again for a special occasion, not really with the intention of all the upkeep, but wow, did not expect the craziness that ensured. i went to gym after and felt like everyone was staring at me! ok, so normally they do stare because they are amazed at my extreme athleticism and all, but this time, i was like, hmm, they really are staring. when i got home, sirus said he wished i had my normal lashes back. and seamus didn't even notice until i stared at her and then she said she wanted her real mommy back. good lord. so they are on there until they fall out with my normal lash shedding pattern. maybe i will get to wear my NEW dress with my NEW lashes sometime before they fall out?? oh yeah, i accidentally got a new dress.
the kids and i went down town and i tried on a bunch of dresses at betsey johnson and everyone knows that is a terrible idea and sirus was so funny! as the girl was hanging the dress and pulling a lovely pink bag over it, he was pretty much narrating what she was doing with the giant bag to the point where he told her she was doing a really great job. she paused and stared at him and then just kind of giggled. but OMG on the drive to the gym after the lashes, OMG OMG a GIGANTIC spider crawled across the ceiling of the car!! right overtop of me!! i almost crashed like 8706 times while i watched it make its journey until it got to the other side AND THEN!! spun a web and lowered itself down to the floor where it disappeared!! totally forgot about the spider by the time i got back into the car after the run until i was about 1/2 way home, and it was dark and couldn't see it even if the spider was dangling right in front of my face.


this is my before look, totally eastern european, goggle remnants from the morning swim, dermatologist healings, bad hair, you know. kind of what i look like on a daily basis. good lord is that really what I look like on a daily basis?? wow TMZ and the paparazzi are going to love this!!!


and the after look - less puffy eyes, doe eyed deer look, possible anime, still no makeup. better? not sure. oh, i got my eye brows done, too.


and the new dress!! can't wait to wear it!! i will wear heels with it though. no flats here. and the feathery thing is detachable, so might just detach it and mix in something else.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

surgeried upon parts trois and quatre

oh the lemon drop has gone straight to my legs. i love that feeling. but the legs, she are tired. sunday i did a fun run with some of the goils. then thank goodness it was raining so we skipped sledding and i hung for some coffee talk then went to the gym. good gracious, i did some step ups and bulgarian split squats, both with weights an omg, days and days later i am still suffering!! ok, it was only a day ago, sort of, depending on how you count.
but this mornign i went to the dermatoligist. i was surgeried upon for dermatology relates issues in 2006 and in 2009. 2006 was abnormal but they got it all. 2009 was all displasiaed and stuff and i had to go back again to get it dug out even more. so anyway, i got back every year and every year, she takes my butt cheeks and looks between them. this year was no different. but also this time i got that thing on my leg frozen off and then the thing on face cut off. chop chop. slipped outta there in sunglasses and a hat pulled down low all movie starlet pastic surgeried like. i say i had an exorcism performed upon me, i am no longer a witch! and sirus was happy to hear it! and then there is a spot on my head that i need to keep an eye on. sweet. wrinkles, pimples, grey hairs and stuff on my face that i need to get cut off. awesome. i am aging gracefully.

Thursday, December 08, 2011

dream

last night i had a dream about my dad. that doesn't happen very often, i think i can only remember having dreamt about him a few times before. but last night he came to move in with us, which was a little odd. he was friends with one of my co-workers and they would hang out. my co-worker would refer to him as an old man, because he was 67, and then i said to my co-worker that he was pretty much an old man himself. he had all his mail forwarded to our house. i went to get the mail and there was a "make your own pair of shoes" kit for me, but then a huge stack of business reply cards for my dad. i went through them and noticed that he was doing a lot of business with my current work. how did i not know that? did he know i worked there too?

it was late december 1997 when i was back in Ohio visiting my mom for xmas, when i had gone to Eat N' Park with Cary for coffee. we were supposed to go to lisa's after and when we got to her house, lisa came out crying. it is such a weird thing to see your friends crying, you don't want it to happen and i instantly wanted to console her. i didn't understand what was going on but she told me i had to call home right away. my brother was at the house and he told me what had happened and that i needed to come home. dad had been out running while on vacation in mexico and he had been hit by a truck. of course my initial reaction was - but he's ok, right? he was not ok.
i can't remember if i cried then. it was a really weird, sureal feeling. i probably cried but it was also almost too big to comprehend, and what if i misunderstood what my brother had told me. i got home and what i had heard was confirmed to be true. he was not ok. he wasn't coming back. he was only 53. then i cried a lot.
my initial selfish thought was - who is going to walk me down the isle when i get married? i also remembered that i hadn't spoken to him since november, and that when i got off the phone after that call, i had remembered thinking how it was probably the best phone conversation i had ever had with him. he had moved to mexico for work not even a year before. i remember him calling me at school and even though my parents had been divorced for 10 years already, when he said he was moving to mexico, it was really the first time i ever felt like he was leaving. i didn't really want him to go, even though i saw him maybe once or twice a year, but i also thought it was a pretty great opportunity and i was hoping to get the chance to visit someday. we weren't going to get together over xmas because we were planning a family trip to all meet up in las vegas in february. he was going to run the marathon which was in february back then and us kids were going to head out there to see him and to hang out. we hadn't ever had a vacation like that before, so we were all looking forward to it. i was also excited to show him my bleach blonde hair, my newly pierced nose and tell him more about my exciting (cough cough) job at a successful internet start up. i was a success!! and i wanted to tell him all about it.
but on december 21 1997, that opportunity was taken away.
those first few years were weird. i had a lot of growing up to do so this only added to the turmoil i was already experiencing. the blonde hair grew out, the exciting job at the start up turned into a trip to thailand, to london, to morocco and then 2 months in costa rica. after the trip to costa rica i was a different person. i swear that that trip saved my life.
i started mountain biking, i was taking better care of myself, i adopted a 3rd cat and i met eric.
i think about my dad quite a bit. when i have tough times at work, and really don't know what to do, i really wish he was here to talk to. once i asked him what he did for work and after like 45 minutes of explaining, i really couldn't tell you what it was. but now so often i would really like to bounce some ideas of off him and get his advice.
i think about him when i run. he was a great runner. he had run on and off for as long as i can remember, i even remember all piling in the car with my mom to go track him down when he was caught in a torrential down pour and asking him why he walked to the end of the driveway before starting to run. but when he was like 45 he started running more regularly. he ran, and he ran, he ran some more. i didn't understand his accomplishments, and i fear that none of us in the family did. he had a personal best of just under 3hrs for a marathon, he placed top 5 in his age group in many races, one year he ran 11 marathons in 12 months. again, i would love to be able to talk him about running, to find out how he could run so fast and what drove him to run the many miles he did. its also so sad that he never got to have a garmin!! he would have loved a garmin!!!
i also think about him when i look at my kids. he never got to meet my kids. i can't even imagine what he would have been like with them. i don't think i had ever seen him even interact with kids. i think he would have liked them. i get the weepiest about that, even 14 years later.