yesterday and today

ugh, so last night i had 3 cookies! and the beer and 2 slices of the caramel apple. :(
i have no ability to control myself. i didn't go to the candy dish, but did i pay for it after work? today i didn't go to the candy dish either, but its still early, plenty o dammage to be done still.
help me!! help me help me!!!

pjs

the other day when i was putting sirus to bed, he wanted to wear his brand new transformers that allie and z sent to him for his birthday. i told him he should really wear different jammies because the transformers were starting to smell a little like farts. he replied with - all of my jammies smell like farts because i fart when i sleep.
im on a diet. but i am drinking a beer. did i mention that the other night while settling into bed after some good old lemon drops i resolved to not drink so much, maybe take some time off. that lasted until the next evening. ugh. BUT, really i need to drop a few. i read somewhere that its ok to gain up to 12% of your weight in the off season. holy smokes, thats a lot, and i certainly don't want to do that. but my premature off season surely jumpstarted the off season weight gain. oh and increase in bodyfat. bleck. gross. i fought all day long to not go to the candy dish at the resceptionists desk. because of this, i didn't even go upstairs during the day for fear i wouldn't be able to get past that damn dish!! so i made it all day without hitting the candy dish, and i got through lunch with some good choices - quinuio or however its spelled mixed with some crap, tasty and allegendyly good for me crap but still. i think there was pumpkin in it, billed as squash. but i am pretty sure it was raw pumpkin. and then some other stuff, like bulgar or something and crap and some spinach.
so yeah, dinner was good, nothing too terrible about that when the oven beeped stating that it had reached the desired temp. what was going into it? eric was baking cookies. WHAT THE HELL. we still have two caramel apples in the fridge - we made them the other day and they are the BOMB. but which is the smarter choice - beer, cookies or caramel apples? i bet its the caramel apples, so i am having beer.
oh baby jesus, help me to not eat too many cookies when they are done cooling!!!

whoaaa!!!!

omg, so just like last year i am sitting here watching the posts on twitter and facebook of the xterra worlds championships. the suspense is KILLING ME!! my very best boyfriend dan hugo is bouncing around in like 2nd and 3rd since somewhere on the bike and now 3 miles into the run is still holding his own. but the twitter updates are a bit tough to follow, or maybe the race really is as close and they are making it, with the order constantly changing? conrad stoltz dropped out at mile 2 of the run due to asthma, which is crazy. he must be really messed up to drop out with only a few miles to go. hope he is ok. but dan, oh my lovely dan!! i am rooting for you!!!
anxiously waiting to hear how danelle kabush is doing as well as cori and swim coach matt!!!
aaaak!!!!

oh good grief

good stuff going on! i went for a run yesterday!! granted it was for 2 minutes but still i was running! ok, so i got to repeat it 4 times, so 8 minutes total. during that first 2 minutes i thought i was going to die. huffing and puffing and all, how did i ever do this before? i'll never be able to be a runner again! but then by the 3rd one i was feeling much better but at the same time happy that there was only 1 more to do. i had done some aqua jogging in the shallow pool the day before and my calves were killing me. so i decided to wear the compression socks for the run, to reduce the jiggle and in the past they have helped. but i decided to do this ground breaking run at the gym, and i had an internal conflict - do i walk though the gym looking like a total tool with my compression socks pulled all the way up and hop on the treadmill for 2 minutes? or do i push them down and show off my uber hairy beast-like legs? what at dilema! so i pushed them down, walked quikly through the gym, and jumped into the room where they have the big screen tv and the lights turned down. http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif
then today was another ground breaking day - i rode OUTSIDE!! omg. i almost passed out just typing it. it was kind of like the injured girls ride, which was perfect because no one was pushing the pace. my back seemed ok, and still as of right now it feels ok, too. before i left for the ride i was sorta of having an anxiety attack or something where all i wanted to do was clean and organize. and when i got home that was totally what i did. went through my medicine cabinet and bathroom drawers and threw out all of the expired makeup, lotions, cleansers and other crap that i've been holding onto for some unknown reason. then i moved onto some drawers of crap that needed sorted out and i got ride of a bunch of that stuff. its so nice to clean! wow, i could do more, i want to do more! pitch it all!!!
tomorrow is the xterra world championships. i had planned on going. i was all set to go all the way up until the beginning of august when i decided i just didn't want to ride my mtn bike and i canceled my registration. i had spent most of the first part of the summer on my road bike and my sweet new tri bike, and then i went on two mtn bike rides and had two laaaame crashes. and that is when i decided. the not two weeks later i hurt my back. wtf. but now the race is tomorrow and i am sad that i am not going. so many fun people are out there right now, getting ready for the race. all without me!! waaah!!! how can they be having so much fun without me there? but at least i got to ride my bike outside with some of my fav peeps and it didn't rain on us and it was on the warmer side.
internets can you desipher my dream for me? i went to the dermitologist because i wanted her to look at this thing on my leg, kind of like by my ankle. she told me to take a shower then wrap up in some big fluffy white towels. then she told me to play family feud with these other doctor and nurse people. and i did. then like after about an hour and a 1/2 and me getting worried that eric was going to get annoyed for having to wait for me so long, i finally was like, when can you look at the thing on my ankle? she took a peek, said ooooh, yeah, well, hmm. let me get ready to work on that. then she went to take a shower and then the people i was playing family feud with said she had been drinking wine and needed to sober up. then the dream sorta drifted out into something else.
fuzy stripe got neutered yesterday. big news right there. hoping he calms down and leaves nadj alone a little bit.

i'm watching you

ok, not really, i am watching xfactor. something weird is going on with it. its nutty. simon is getting all pist because they are making the songs their own. he doesn't like it.
on another note, i have been getting in a bit more exercise. had a 50 minute trainer workout yesterday. got up into the zone3. i even broke a but of a sweat. it was awesome. this morning janet took me to samena! i didn't go in the outside pool although i am kind of craving some cool crisp, clean water! but i was toasty warm in the inside and my intervals were hard. janet joined me for the last 10 minutes and i can see why the old ladies kind of just hang out in the pool floating around chatting. and then when i got home i did another 20 minutes on the trainer and OMG i better start some super long fat burning workouts soon!! gaaahh!!!! its baaaad!
what else? work is good!
we went to oktoberfest this past weekend. it was SO FUN. exactly what i needed. there was some beers, some chicken dancing, a little bit of a brat. ya know. good stuff.

but now i have to get my act together. make a plan and get this show back on the road.
BUT we are looking at remodeling the house! like BIG remodel! like, omg it will probably be under construction for like 5+ years but damn will it be nice when its done (i hope!) whoa!! we've been talking about it for a long time but meetings are being set up with architechts and ideas are being thrown around! let there be light! lots and lots of light!!

mid life crisis

if i am having a midlife crisis, does that mean i will only wind up being 74?
its been rough lately. i had a total breakdown when we got back from ogden. i am tired of looking like ass all the time, tired of bad hair, bad skin, ever increasing body fat % due to lack of exercise, always being tired. so i had my breakdown, and then i went shopping. totally a risky move when feeling so horrible, but i went to nordstrom and found one of the sales girls there, brooke and told her i needed an overhaul. SHE WAS AWESOME. we picked out some jeans to start with, then she asked me what i was looking for in tops. i said nothing clingy and nothign that needed dry cleaning. she said i was really testing her fabric knowledge, but we looked at all the tags. she didn't discourage me from picking things out to try, but funny how the things i picked looked like ASS but the things she picked were super cute. but first we started with the denim, as she put it. she told me to try them on in a certain order. she got me different sizes and when i tried the smaller size and was freaking out by all the ass rolls, i asked her to come in the room and look. she said the ass rolls are exactly what they want to see! who knew??? so i picked out two pairs of skinny jeans. omg, yes, TWO. SKINNY jeans. i tried on some leggings and they looked horrible, but the skinny jeans were good.
then the tops. she brought me things to layer them all with and when i said i didn't like something she didn't try to convince me otherwise and instead just took it away and brought something else. it was awesome. i wound up with a TON of stuff, including a poncho?? what? when she was ringing me up, i asked her if she could go to shoes with me. she said she couldn't but called down there to see if her favorite shoe guy was there. he wasn't but that was ok. i did get a pair of boots but after determining they were too big around the calves i have since returned them. now i want to go back and see brooke again and see if i can hire her to be my stylist, at least for a day. go through my stuff and my shoes and all that stuff and help me put some stuff together. i did get some accessories, too, which i have been trying to encorporate every day. its been fun. NOW if only i could get my hair and face under control.
i did put my fake bangs on the other day and looked into some hair extensions. working on it. and so excited that i picked up the groupon for eyelash extenstions! cannot wait!! hate to be so obsessed with how i look, but i'm not getting any younger. and OMG the gray hairs!! wtf.
but PT is going pretty well. i have some set backs every once in a while, like yesterday i wore soem totally sensible old lady boots to work. they are aersoles for goodness sake!! low, very sensible heel, totally safe. until about 90 minutes into the work day and i realized i really really needed to take them off. luckily i brought my sandals and i changed out of them, and almost instantly the acute discomfort i was having in my back went away. i was sitting the whole time - how does that happen? anyway, those boots are going away, especially since i suspected them of sabotauging me in the past!!!. then i sat weird on the couch while using the computer and while that was ok, unfolding from it was not ok. thorough back agitation. but PT this morning fixed it. i rode on the trainer the other day!! how hooray is that? big time hooray!! and i was happy to figure out that the reason the 20 minutes i did the other day were so hard was because eric had cranked up the resistance! but i was happy to be spinning again. and swimming is going awesome. still with the pull buoy but that is more to my liking anyway. i can feel swim improvement happening! but serious lack of motivation it me the other day and i did nothing but be grumpy. i am on a leg shaving strike!! its really gross. when the PT did some work on my IT band i appologized for the extreme fur on my legs, i am not sure i have ever let it get this long, but i am protesting my injury. ok, so i did shave them before going to ogden - couldn't let dan hugo see them in that shape!! but they are baad. eric said, hmph, not a big deal, his are hairier. but still its gross.
but some good stuff going on. getting through it. not thrilled with the winter approaching but looking forward to progressing to a run here someday soon.

so what else is new?

omagosh! so much!!!
we went to ogden! good times at xterra usa championships! we decided to take the kids which turned out to be very fun. we flew out friday and got a MONSTER huge 11 person passenger van. best van ever!! sirus sat in the very backest back and seamus sat right behind us.
we went straight to ogden, the kids and i checked into the hotel then went over to the expo area. eric put his bike together and then met up with his buddy troy, who i had forgotten was the one who gave me all the pointers on which coffee grinder to get eric for xmas 6 or so years ago. the kids started running around all over the place in the kids zone. crazy non stop at altitude in the heat running around. i thought they were going to wear themselves out before the kids race, but they got some snow cones, met xterra world champ shonny vanlandingham and then were off. the xterra peeps did a great job with the kids race. it was one of the best kids races ever. the run was actually pretty far but then after, the called each kid up to get their medals. they used old number plates and medals from races all over which was super cool. then we went to the dinner - eric was regional champ! the dinner options were odd, and had i been racing i would have been like, uh, not nearly enough... it was all gluten free except the bread they had, and totally unfilling. anyway, it wound up being pretty expensive for the kids to each eat a plate of pineapple, strawberries and grapes, but whatever.
in the morning we all piled into the giant van, dropped erics shoes at t1 and then headed down to t2. eric stood in line for a million minutes for packet pickup and then finally got things going.
lance armstrong was there, he had an entourage and stuff. it was kind of cool to see him and the hubub and all that. he looked like a normal dude, only all of his stuff matched. all his nike live strong gear, all perfectly laid out. he was wearing the brand new TYR Freak of Nature wetsuit and had a really good swim. bff matt from high school came out for the race, so we hung out during the bike and run legs. seamus made some signs for all of her favorite racers! Daddy, Mat, Shonny, Danelle, Cori, Ashlie, Marci, Jason and Dan Hugo. we cheered as they all passed by on the bike and then rearranged ourselves a little up the hill to see them on the run. it was cool because we could see them coming down the mountain, head into and out of the switchbacks and then head up the hill again right before heading back down to the finish. i brought my outside voice and yelled for alls of them when we saw them on the switch backs, and then when they passed right by us. sirus even told me i was being too loud which is funny. lots of really great races going on out there! matt and jason both won their age groups, danelle came in 3rd overall for the women's, shonny, i don't know how she does it but she raced with a torn acl coming in 7th, and Dan Hugo came in 2nd! super stellar racing by these guys and everyone else. i was a little sad not racing and being part of the fun, but i really did have a good time watching and cheering.
later we took sirus to iFly Utah. seamus didn't want to do it but sirus was hilarious, bringing down the house with how funny he was!
what else?
omg, sirus turned 6 today. my sweet little baby is a big grown up 6. how in the world did that happen. makes me want to cry!!