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Thursday, March 17, 2016

Chiro

I have seen 3 chiropractors in my life.
The first was a woman and she used her funny little clicker thing and adjusted my ribs where they attach to my sternum.  That was weird.  Then she used her scary chair and jostled my brains.  Then she tried to bully me into pre-paying for some rediculous treatment plan where I would come to her office like 40 times in 2 weeks.  No.
The next time was Dr Jeff.  I liked dr Jeff. He was a cute little guy and we talked a lot and he was nice. He cracked me and he did that graston horror on my hip and I will never in a million years ever let anyone do that to me again. But I liked going to see him.  But then he broke up with me.  He said I wasn't getting better.  He said I had some underlying something that he didn't know what it was, but he said he couldn't see me any more until I went to my GP and got checked out.  So I went to my GP, who I had been seeing for many many years, who was my kids' doctor, who I trusted. And she was MAD! She was mad at the chiro for telling someone like me that they might have an underlying health problem.  She gave me a physical, did some blood work and found nothing wrong with me.  The ln ya know what happened?  I had a brain tumor.  Undiagnosed underlying health problem.  But by the time I got through that dr Jeff had moved away.
So now I see dr Stephen.  I see him every once in a while.  He fixes me right up and sends me on my way, which is good, because that is what he is supposed to do, but it is sad because he is so cute and I like to see him.  
The last time o was him was like almost a year ago.  I had trigger finger and he had to hurt my hand to make it better.  Funny thing about the trigger finger, I noticed it while brushing my teeth.  This is important for later.  But  OMG it hurt so badly, but he fixed it all up.  Since then I have actually shot guns! But used the other hand for the triggering so that's weird.
But then almost 4 weeks ago I did a  treadmill workout. I was worried it was going to be hard and it was but I did it and I did it well and I was all proud of myself.  Then I went to work and sat at my desk.  The next time I got up to walk around, I couldn't actually walk.  Oh the horror.  So I went to see dr Stephen today.  I anticipated some ART and maybe an elbow in my ass, but there was none of that.  
Oh there was pain and all, but there is nerve problems and other stuff. Yay! God fun!  But I had to lay on my stomach and out my oily face all over the chiro table face paper, which he told me it was the paper's job, the paper's destiny to have fave oil on it.  So then I asked if paper sits around at the paper factory hoping that it get to be chiro face paper and not normal doctor office table paper that gets sat on by bare butts.  I didn't even think of the poor paper that winds up as toilet seat covers...  Then there was the work on my back where he was like, do you feel that?  Do you feel how your skin doesn't move when I do this?  To which I replied, of course it doesn't because I am so lean there is nothing there to move.  He laughed a little bit more than he should have.  
The I learned some exercises one of which made me instantly think of this:

Now I just hope I get better soon, I was making such good progress. But I am going to San Francisco on Wednesday!!! Hooray!

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