the pain in my neck

i have been having terrible pain in my jaw and neck since the end of september. it was so bad that after a few days i made an appointment to start up massage again (different side of my neck this time though) but while i was waiting for the appointment i decided that i was in so much pain that my teeth must be rotting out and i had to make an appointment with the dentist. they got me in right away and said my teeth were in better shape then they had ever seen them. ok, so granted the last 5+ years or so i have been pregnant or recovering from pregnancy and everyone knows what that can do to someones gums!! anyway, teeth were fine, no grinding, nothing. dentist told me to relax. so that is what i tried to do. so weeks and weeks later, i was about to totally lose it. can't sleep, on the verge of crying constantly, wondering if i was on the road to alchoholism since the only thing that seemed to help was a tasty adult beverage or two. so i went to my doctor who told me to go back to the dentist. which i sisn't. until today - about two months since the pain started. i told him that i haven't been able to relax and that running seems to help (to which he commented that it looked like i have been running alot - which i took as a compliment) and that it was time to make a night guard. yeah so that is a terrible process. once which wound up with all kinds of gagging and horror all over the place. ok, that is a bit dramatic but the nice lady kept telling me to breathe through my nose which i couldn't do becaue the stuff stunk so badly, but i had mascara all over my face, drool all down my front but most important, they got a good impression and i didn't need to do it again. i need to go back in a week for a fitting then he suspects i will come back once a week for the next few weeks while my jaw heals from all the swelling and whatever that has been going on. i asked him to shoot my jaw up with something that would take away the pain which he said he could do but that it would just be novicaine and wouldn't do any good really. he gave me muscle relaxers and offered to give me prescriptions for pain medicine and sleep stuff, both of which i turned down. i sure wanted both but its best in my opinion to not take those. heck i have my aleve now. both he and the pharmacists said that the muscle relaxers wont affect my race on sunday and that they might actually make it better but both suggested i try them on a training run first. hope i don't get a random pee check! there are big expectations for the race though! both the magic 8-ball on my desk and the race time predictor say i should finish in the low 150s even potentially below. Yikes! i really have no idea what to expect, but i think i will take it conservatively and hang out with the 2hr pacers for the first 1/2 of the race, then if i am feeling good i will speed up for the 2nd 1/2. lasy year i stuck to a pacer, i can't remember which one but about 3 miles in they dropped their sign and i never saw them again. that pacer was no good.
but now i have some uncertainty, mixed with muscle relaxers mixed with opps, got a flu shot when i was picking up my prescription, topped with thanksgiving, so we will see. i am pretty excited though!!
seamus made me shed a tear earlier when eric asked her what she is thankful for this thanksgiving. she answered with "my mom and my dad". i thought that was sweet. both of those kids are so sweet and i am totally thankul for them, that is for sure. i have a ton to be thankful for and i hope everyone has a happy and safe holiday!