#1 of 29

today was the first day of radiation.  but first!!!  i went swimming.  the 2nd swim since surgery, since before surgery, since April 26!!  thats like 3 months!!!  yikes!  it was slow and it wasn't very far BUT!  i didn't wear a swim cap and it was AMAZING!!  wow, swimming without one is so much better, it feels so nice.  i might keep my hair short for that reason alone!!!
after eric and the kids took me to the hospital and dropped me off at the oncology place.  i checked in and the front desk lady too me right back.  she showed my the routine - what i will do every weekday for the next 29 days (except labor day, i get that day off).  but you come in, walk right back, scan the card with the bar code that they gave me that tells them I am there then i sit and wait.  today i waited in that special room for a bit, looking over the daunting schedule of 29 treatments plus 3 MRIs, and then also the sheet of radiation side effects and how to take care of my head / hair / skin.  they had given that to me before, and i read it before, but something about sitting there at that very moment, not knowing what was actually going to happen really started to scare me.  i was more scared than when i was being wheeled into that elevator headed to the basement for surgery!
they eventually came to get me and we went into the control room. they showed me the computer stuff and the tv screens they use to watch me the whole time.  then we went into the treatment room.  I had been thinking of my friend kate who has been sharing her own radiation stories with me. she is a breast cancer survivor, and although her situation was different, I have really appreciated her perspective and all of the information she has shared with me.  she had told me how afraid she was when she went to radiation for the first few times, but she was brave, so i could be brave too.  but that didnt stop me from gasping and almost passing out when i first saw the machine and was like holy shit!!!  this is crazy!!

the room was so big and scary!  and empty!  why was it so empty?

 then i laid on the bed thing.  well i guess its a table.  it is FLAT, flatter then flat.  it is not comfortable and they bind your feet with a giant rubber band which is funny and weird.  then they put on my mask!

that is me with a reservoir tip on my nose!

 then a bunch of stuff started happening, not fast but a lot.  the table went up, the radiation give came down.  then they took a bunch of xrays to make sure everything was lined up.  from what i could tell they took 6.  while i was laying there while they were doing all that stuff was really when through this whole experience, i was like oh shit!!  am i a sick person?  this is a big deal, there is really something wrong in my head!  and i almost started to cry.  but then i noticed the music playing and the design on the ceiling and i started to think of the nice people who were getting me all set up wondering how they learn to do what they do and if it is hard and if they like it.

who's got two thumbs, a mask on her face and is ready to get radiated?  this girl!

after the 6 xrays and some minor adjustments to stuff they got started with the treatments.  in the above photo, that thing above my head and the thing below my head rotate.  so it went from like ear to ear, across my forehead?  or maybe through the back of my head, i don't know.  then the table turned counter clockwise 90 degrees and the thing rotated again, from like the middle of my forehead to the back of my head.  all of that took like 20 seconds, no kidding.  it made super cool sounds, too.  it made me think of the shows we watched a long time ago as kids that explained how they did all the special effects for the starwars movies and how the sounds guy would go around recording all kinds of things like trucks driving by, metal stamping machines, whatever.  but that radiation machine sounded way cool. 
i was explaining to someone how the tumor is benign and how it won't spread to other parts of my body or other parts of my brain.  but really how it will just always be a pain in my figurative ass, and never in my literal ass.  i made myself laugh with that one!

another less blurry self portrait of my short hair, with a cheezy smile.

 yesterday i had a big surprise. one right after the other, janet, xtie and lavonne all showed up with super short hairs!!  allie had gotten her hairs super short even before me, but all of them did it to support me in my potential baldness and i love them for it!  i loved them even if they would have kept their hairs long, but i cannot express how awesome it is of them!  they all look super cute, too!!

Sirus's dixie cup boat floating in the sink

seamus and sirus and fuzy helping eric paint!