today

i don't feel very well today.  i'm in a good enough mood, however, my head hurts. i was feeling not well last night - nauseated, and headache and all.  its hard not to figure out what is just not feeling well and what might be related to something tumor or radiation.  i knew that whatever sickness i had last week was definitely good old fashioned being sick.  it was almost pleasant to be so normal and so sure of what was going on!!!  last night and today though could be any number of things.  for one, i got up super early and went swimming before work.  then i worked an entire 8 hr day!  then i was up sorta late watching xfactor.  that could do it, right?  but i should have been able to sleep it off and feel better this morning. i might be dehydrated some, gotta work on that.  i thot my hairs were done falling out, but it seems that maybe they still are.  when they first started falling out, i only got a few clumps.  then the rest have been just falling out one or two or 10 at a time.  i didn't have any alarming piles of hair on my pillow or anything like that.  i would just notice while shampooing that id have a few hairs on my hands.  i think getting the hairs cut short was a wise decision as it really did almost just fall out without me even noticing too much.  but i am still finding them in the sink, on my desk, wherever.
GOOD NEWS!  the shit taste seems to be dissipating!  that was quick.  the smell is still around some, but not as bad, but the taste seems to be getting better.  one thing that has helped is that my mouth has gotten better.  something happened to my mouth - it was terrible!  my gums got all swollen and nasty and super painful - ewww, gingivitis?  never had it, but that must have been what it was.  radiation related?  who knows?  but it seems to be getting better now, too.  thank goodness because it did not feel good at all.  was getting ready to go to the dentist over that one!
i am kind of a habit like person.  i would like to keep to a schedule if possible, know when i am supposed to be somewhere, for how long, what is coming next, etc.  i don't NEED this to be able to function, but some order is good.  kind of why i work with a coach.  makes it so i don't have to think.  i can just do.  except days when i have a track workout and have to find a track and then it totally overwhelms me, especially when school at one of the local HS has been canceled due to shooting threats by a student!!!  AAAKK!  but i bring this up because i have a bed time ritual.  it used to be, brush my teeth, wash my face, go to sleep.
now it is a big ordeal and its really annoying.
brush my teeth
wash my face
use the 283974270386 anti aging, anti zit, make me beautiful creams and lotions and wait for each to do their magic before applying the next
go to the bathroom
roll around on the foam roller (always my back, sometimes my left hip and quad)
get in bed.
lay on right side.
roll over and lay on left side.
roll over again.
fall asleep for like 5 minutes.
wake up
lay there and think that my feet are hurting
stress about being awake and being afraid i wont be able to fall asleep unless i finish the ritual...
surrender to the ritual
go to the bathroom again
take an Aleve
go directly to sleep for the rest of the night.

is that bad?  i have tried to skip the foam rolling, not good.
i have tried to just take the aleve before getting into bed the first time, it doesn't work. and the last part of it isn't so bad, its just the getting out of bed again and i don't want to take aleve all the time.  and i don't know what the deal is with the feet.  they have hurt at night time since high school.  no one seems to know why or think its a problem. 
there are worse things.

 but oh i have been having some weird and vivid dreams.  not the terrible disturbing ones when i first started radiation, but just vivid and weird.  stress related, maybe?

nothing else going on, just looking forward to getting in some napping today and then tomorrow will be the 3rd full day of work for this week.  Success!  assuming this headache goes away!