if i were michael phelps

i would totally get my teeth fixed.  dude, he has so much money he could totally do it. easily.  its not like his teeth are that messed up, but he could use the help.  he is not my idea of dreamy, not even close, and the teeth won't change that but at least then i would quit asking myself why he lets his teeth be all messed up like that. 

this look doesn't work for him either.  gross.

but, i have a new boyfriend.  don't worry Dan Hugo, you are still my number one boyfriend, but my new one is pretty delish, i have to say.  have you heard of Ryan Lochte?  hot.

ok, he is a little beefier than i generally like, but he has a cute face and a good smile.  but sometimes i wish he would wear more clothes.  I KNOW, that is is blasphemy. I know he is a swimmer and i know that they swim in teeny tiny swim suits, but really do i need to have him shoving it at me in every non-competition photo?  all of the olympic photos have him in the water or are waist up.  all the photo shoot photos show way too much.  this is not attractive to me, but i guess maybe i'm not the target market for Men's Journal either:

.So, my boyfriend Dan Hugo however, always looks perfect.  now, Dan Hugo is a swimmer, too.  And occasionally there is a photo, or even a video with him in his teeny tiny swim suit, but its all about moderation.  we do not need to see it ALL of the time.













even when he is all banged up and hairy, Dan is the man - super cute, super hottie. and he is very articulate and has lots of good things to say.

BUT, i do think if they make the 50 Shades of Grey movies, they might have to have Ryan Lochte be Christian Grey.  I think that would be a good fit.