MRI

i had a bad night last night.  yesterday was a rest day in all aspects of that word.  no work, no scheduled workouts.  i slept a lot.  sirus and i went on a date.  he knows how to treat a lady.  he wanted to do to what he calls the fancy restaurant.  i had chicken picatta and it was damn delicious.  holy crap it was good.  we had to go to the fancy restaurant because the other option was Red Robin and i was not going to go to RR.
later when it was time for bed, everything was fine and dandy.  i got into bed, tired and ready to sleep.  then i started thinking about the past year and 1/2, long before this whole brain thing became an issue and i just started bawling.  full, open mouthed, squinty eyes, no noise, lots of tears bawling.  it was the weirdest thing.  i couldn't stop.  a few weeks back i had a breakdown and the doctors, but that was just a few tears rolling down my cheek, this was a full on bawl.  i think i needed it, but eric was asleep and all the lights were off in the house and it was 37406 degrees.  so i got out of bed and headed to the couch.  i flipped on the laptop and was happy to find a few emails that got my mind of the crying and allowed me to calm down.  but good gracious my head was hurting and i was feeling sick to my stomach.  eventually i was calm enough that i went back to bed and thankfully fell asleep.  later i woke up to find myself drenched in sweat.  awesome - night sweats.  haven't had any since the 2nd or 3rd week out of the hospital.
needless to say when my alarm went off at 6am to go swimming, i did not get out of bed.
i did however go to work and was very productive so i felt good about that.
i did not swim after work like i had originally planned, instead i went to the hospital for my treatment super early.  the nice old man who brings his wife there everyday had brought some photo albums to show me. he showed me photos of his old Model A car with he and his wife dressed in '20s era clothes.  so cute!  he said they sold it about 8 years ago because the upkeep was too much and his wife wasn't able to get in and out of it any longer.  once the car was gone he really started with some wood working projects.  he said he had started some about 2 years prior, but once the car was out of the picture he really dove into the wood stuff.  he showed me photos of some amazing bird houses including one that looked like his grandfather's house!  he also made some of light houses that he and his wife had visited and a lot with license plates for the roof.  but he also made all kinds of beautiful wooden lamps, bowls, potpurri holders, vases and clocks.  he made an amazing grandfather clock for his wife.  she designed it and he made it.  it was very neat to look through his book and hear the stories behind all of the projects.  his wife came back from her treatment and joined in the conversation tell me about which were her favorites and about some other wood pieces they have at their house.  she went on to describe some of the wooden pull and push toys he has made for the great grandkids, too!
then i got the news on the mri.  good news is that there isn't anything going on with the tumor.  the not bad news is that i have a sinus infection.  so i have to wait that out.  i have another mri next week so they will check on it then, but hopefully it will be better by then.
yesterday i talked to the radiation tech about my hair.  it hasn't started falling out and she says based on her observation everyone's falls out.  it could even start after treatment is over.  she says if it hasn't fallen out by 3 months after i am done then i am probably ok.  but until then, i shouldn't try holding my breath at all.  so based on lavonne's suggestion, i am going to pack a sharpie marker in my gym bag and purse for emergency cover ups! i also saw some cute hats at Whole Foods that i can run in and get on a moment's notice if necessary.
oh but the drama of today's treatment!  they did xrays yesterday, but apparently the doctor didn't like how things were lined up, so they wanted to do more xrays today.  once they took the first set, i had some guy named gordon come in and started poking my head. he said he was the one who wrote my treatment plan (wait, i thought the doctor did that!) but he was trying to get me to move around in the mask.  i can move a little but its not a ton.  but they were looking for millimeters so i guess whatever.  so they took the mask off and there was gordon and my doctor and like 3 techs all in there.  they put a shim under my head then put the mask back on.  wow!   super tight now.  can't open my eyes, i barely could before and i definitly can't talk any more. squish.  i could feel all of my face juices getting on the inside of that mask!  more xrays and then gordon came in to say it looked better.  sweet.
11 more to go!  maybe i will start a pool to guess when the hairs will start coming out.