6 weeks + 1 day

its been 6 weeks and a day since my surgery.  i have yet to cry or break down over the whole thing.  there have been times when i have been on the verge and even last night i was looking at some photos eric had taken when i had just come out of surgery that i hadn't seen before and i almost started to cry looking at them, but really, i don't have any reason to cry.  i feel good, i am getting better every day, i can see again - really i am very very lucky.  i have had the best possible 6 weeks with the kids, the first time in a long time that i have been able to actually slow down with no work and no training, to just look at them when they are taking, let them explain things to me at their pace and get to spend some real quality time with them.  every once in a while, they will still hug me and tell me they hope I am feeling better and every once in a while when i forget something or am a little absent minded, seamus is the first to say, its ok mom, its probably the tumor.  ha!
almost two weeks ago i started a paleo challenge.  it is no secret that i am the queen of eating crap.  its like, if i don't eat crap, i get sick, or something.  but some friends were doing it and i thot hey, why not.  i took the paleo approach of if the cavemen ate it, i'll eat it.  so very basic - no dairy, no added sugar and no grains.
i have been having such banned substances as sugar snap peas, yellow and orange sweet peppers, and tomatoes.  ???  apparently in some paleo circles, those are not ok.  oh, i've had the cocoa powder, too, making the most (?) delicious sorta chocolate cake stuff.  i like it, seamus loves it, sirus says its not bad. eric wants to know what the big turd in the fridge is.  but i have been doing quite well with it all.  probably a little heavy on the fruits, a little light on the protein.  but trying.  but today was tough.  after managing to avoid the most amazing looking Kraft mac & cheese and eric's margarita (although tequila is considered paleo??  who knew!) last night, it was Yo Plateau that did me in!  I went and hunted and gathered some banana and peach flavored frozen yogurt.  And then i hunted and gathered some chocolate chips and chocolate sauce.  i did put pecans and strawberries on there, but that really didn't do anything to negate the graham crackers that i had trapped out in the woods and put on there either.  whatever.  it was good.  80/20, right?  i was eventually going to start hunting and gathering clif shots, mojo bars and chili anyway.
BUUUUT, now that i am all paleo i got a totally gross rash.  yes, internet, i am telling you this.  i thot it was just zits.  yes, internets - zits.  but after a few friends took a little looksie, they were like, nope, rash.  now, after i got out of the hospital i had some really bad skin problems.  well, duh, that totally made sense considering i didn't shower for 80 days and i was pumped so full of all kinds of toxins so I wasn't totally surprised that i wound up with some grody skin for a bit.  i'd say it got mostly better but never 100%, but then this whole, i am going to be all healthy thing happened and it got bad again, but its a rash.  so i decided it must be either all the nuts, almonds specifically or maybe the balsamic vinegarette.  a year or two ago i had having lots of salads and putting the oil and vinegar on them.  every day, sometimes twice a day.  then i said, who needs this oil crap, lets just do the vinegar.  and then i started getting giant welts on me.  i was convinced it was from the salad greens.  damn leafy greens!!!  but allie said, uh, probably not the case.  more likely the vinegarette.  so i cut out the vinegar and went to just oil.  things got better then i got off that whole salad kick and moved on to poptarts.  so this rash thing, i cut out the vinegar since again i was having it every day.  but i also cut out the nuts.  the almonds may be the culprit since i went from having them once a month or so to every day in the almond butter, just normal almonds, and almond milk.  i also was having pecans and walnuts, too.  i normally don't have any reactions to nuts but i normally don't eat a shit ton of them in a day either.  so after like 2 days of no vinegar and no nuts (that is a lie - i had a lara bar today and it had almonds in it and yesterday i had some of the paleo chocolate cake and it had walnuts in it and i put pecans on my yo plateau) i have no knew breakouts or welts.  i am going to try to go easy on the nuts still for the next few days but continue to cut out the vinegar.  fingers crossed - its gross!  there ya go internets!!
but today i took a nap. i was tired.  i was drifting in and out when sirus came up and told me he didn't know what to do so i suggested that he come and nap with me!  and he DID!  usually he is just like, no that is ok, or he will crawl in and then crawl out real quick, but he cuddled right up and passed out.  it was heaven!!