caught up

ok, so after this one, i should be all caught up, to the present day.  i think maybe. after that puking/ER visit nothing else of consequence has really happened.  Although....
14 days after the surgery, i went to get the staples out.  all 29 of them!  i thot it might hurt, but it didn't.  she used some funny scissors like things and just sort of plucked them out. i kept them, my mom is going to use them as part of a necklace for me.  can you believe that in the entire Neuroscience Institute, they did not have any ziploc baggies!  no fear, we improvised and wrapped them in gauze and tied them into a rubber glove.   I did get light headed while she was taking them out and thot i might pass out so i had to lay down for a bit, but that opened up the opportunity for everyone to come look at my head.  i had a big blobby blob on my right temple.  it was totally fluid filled and gushy. it was possibly cerebral spinal fluid.  brain juice, nice, right?  they said to wear a head band, all Olivia Newton John - Lets Get Physical style to apply gentle pressure.  that actually felt awesome and i was so happy to do it, even if eric smirked at me every time he looked at me.  it worked tho!!  my blobbly blob turned into a dent!!! 
but WOW, having no staples turned me into a totally new person!  it was awesome, a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders!!  but let me tell you - grody!!  all kinds of grodiness evey time i took a shower.  all kinds of new gore and skin chunks came out each time i washed my hair.  finally though, my hands began to feel clean after shampooing tho!  there were days when i had to literally wash my hands after washing my hair!  so gross!!

so i was ok with everything for a while. week 3 happened, week 4, i spent those getting better, resting and becoming more active and reading a ton.  Allie came to visit!!!! - a topic for another post.  then i started to freak out.  no real reason, well, ok, LOTS of reasons.  my head was starting to hurt quite a bit.  i hadn't taken any pain medicine since the puking from that first weekend at home, but it wasn't in the head pain, it was on the head pain and forehead pain.  the numbness was and continues to wear off and while its happening, it hurts.  not like mega, omg, i am writhing in pain hurt, but it doesn't feel great.  like even the other day i was laying down and i rolled over and i swore i totally tore my head open.  but i didn't.  my incision looks "beautiful!"  Anyway, coupled with that, the dent, the bump, and my ever increasing anxiety about my follow up visit in July caused me to call the nurses and they told me to come in.  i'm glad i did!!
they showed me what a titanium plate looks like.  i had no idea it would be so pretty!!  i expected that little bar thing and the other double bar thing, but i didn't actually think about the giant holes they drilled.  and apparently, those holes don't close up!!!!  so they put that plate over top to protect the brains!!!  and, those neurosurgeons are so smart!!!  the plate is connected using those little screws.  they told me this is particularly helpful if they need to go back in, especially if they need to go back in right away because they just unscrew it and pop it off again!  i wondered about that because i had read so much about people having multiple surgeries and wondered how that worked. 

 so this was good to find out because it explained a bunch with my noggin. the small bump in the middle of my forehead is a plate.  the big bump on my right temple is another plate.  there might be another in there, but those two are the only ones the nurse and i were able to identify. but the big red circle is how i understand the whole bone hole situation to be.  who knows really. the arrow points to the dent.  so there is normally a muscle that runs up the side of your face and connects up on your forehead and mine has been cut and is no longer there.  so there is a dent.  and a bump.  and you can see my pulse there.  awesome.

 and so they think that my inability to move my right eyebrow and forehead is a combination of them peeling my face down, nerves being cut, that muscle being cut, ya know.  all those things.  it might get better, it might not.  it could be worse.  at least i can see again!!!  my jaw hurts on the right too, can't open my mouth all the way.  might be related...  but i am going to the dentist next week since i haven't been in over a year and for them to take a looksie at that too.

i spy Allie's latte with my new inquisitive look!

don't worry!!!  the cats keep me company!! and yes, it is JUNE and we still have flannel sheets with reindeer on the bed.